Top 10 Reasons Why the DeLay Trial Should Stay in Austin


10. Because Tom DeLay's sentence should include driving up and down I-35 at 7:45 AM and 5:15 PM on all weekdays as well as UT game days. Oh yeah--and the car needs to not have air conditioning.

9. Because Halloween is going to be totally fun this year! Criminal DeLay, Gerrymandering DeLay, Dancing DeLay - the possibilities are endless. Lucy's in Disguise better restock on fringed leather vests and candy striper outfits. Ole!



8. Because Austin has repeatedly been listed as one of the best cities to live in and if you're going to be sentenced to life in prison like Tom DeLay could be, why not enjoy a little Austin while you've still got the music in you?

7. So politically connected people can start marketing their houses as "Home of Someone Who Once Shook the Criminal-cum-Dancer Tom Delay's Hand."

6. So Chris Bell, 2006 Texas Gubernatorial candidate and ousted Congressman due to DeLay's gerrymandering, won't have to drive as far to visit DeLay in jail.

5. Because Tom DeLay won't comprehend the true meaning of "liberal bastion" until he visits a local Thundercloud Subs.

4. So Rick Perry will have another irrelevant excuse to refuse to debate Bill White and continue to live up to his title as a "coward," which at this point pretty much guarantees him losing the election.

3. So Tea Partiers will stop saying racist, anti-Muslim things about the mosque in New York and instead say racist, anti-Muslim things about the DeLay trial in Austin, since that argument here is about as pointless as it is in New York City.

2. So George W. Bush won't ever come within a 50 mile radius of Austin again. Ever.

And the number one reason why the TomDeLay trial should stay in Austin is because taxpayers know Rick Perry's got an extra room in his $10,000 a month rental mansion for Tom DeLay to stay in during the trial. Sleepover at Slick Rick's rental! Rove'll bring the marshmallows.

Yup. Now this is a reality show that I could get into.
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