Summer Ain't Over 'Til This Fat Lady Stops Sweating

Y'all gotta know by now I'm a native Austinite. And while for most of my life I've said with a condescending air with regard to the cold New England winters, "I'd rather be hot than cold" or "Yeah, but you don't have to shovel sunshine," I'm about over this summer heat.

This summer seems to have really taken it out of me to the point where I have stopped blow-drying my hair (who needs a blow dryer when you can walk outside and get 2600 watts of hot air?) and I don't think I've looked at a weather forecast since I went to Boston for my sister's wedding.

What's the point? It's like John McCain weather. More of the same.

So I'm sitting in my air conditioning, which might as well be gaseous gold for what electricity costs these days, and wondering at what point the idea of an "evening walk" will be appealing. Running has recently been named one of the 7 Hot-Ass Hobbies of this Highly Hot-Ass City. Parking my car at the gym just means it'll be 124 degrees when I come out. I'm even afraid to leave my fiddle in my car for more than a few minutes, as if I'm carting around a Labrador. The most exercise I get these days is the brisk 50 meter dash I do from my car to my office twice a day.

Needless to say, this Texas summer and I need a break from each other. Like, yesterday. Or maybe back in June. Am I alone? Is anyone else about to wilt like a geranium in a crumbling hanging basket?

Well, either way, don't look to me for help. It's not my day to water.

2 Response to "Summer Ain't Over 'Til This Fat Lady Stops Sweating"

  • gen Says:

    This heat makes me absolutely nuts. I'm a prisoner in my own home...and I'm not even a resident of Myanmar...HELLO!

    As long as we're all sweating, we ought to sweat together. Come by Final Friday- THIS FRIDAY. It's at my house (4107 Wildwood Rd.) Tell all your hot-ass, liberal friends (Harold).

    Talk to you soon,


  • Scott in South Austin Says:


    I've been in Austin for over 30 years. I thought last summer was terrible. Pthhhhh - this summer is especially brutal.

    I actual found myself being a little cranky yesterday when I went out to the HEB, and I'm seeing other people who have the same feeling - we're getting tired of it and the high utility bills (although we in Austin are somewhat lucky in that we don't have to deal with those turdblossoms at TXU or Reliant).

    Their is a reason they are called the "dog days of summer." We all pant, drink lots of fluids, and just want to lay in the shade.