Some Tips for the Queen

I happened to notice this news item about Mrs. Bush showing Mrs. Obama around the White House today, offering advice on interior decorating, shoulder pads and...well, that's it, I guess.

In the name of bipartisanship, I thought I'd offer Mrs. Bush some advice on what I like to refer to as "Living in the Rest of the World: Or Whatever You Call the Shambles Your Husband Left It In," now that Mrs. Boxwood is due to be reentering the atmosphere.

1. G-Dub really f-ed up the economy. Take your money out of the stock market. Or, if you're like the rest of us, you didn't have any money in it to begin with minus that random IRA you signed up for once, so thank the 8 lb. baby Jeebus and move on.

2. You should no longer travel to Iraq on a desert vacay, no matter what Lonely Planet says. That whole electrical plug advice on their site? That's assuming there are outlets, which is a vast declaration of faith in your husband's democracy-spreading. Leave the hot-rollers back at the ranch. And that "Ongoing Turmoil" thing? Yeah. Might want to ask your loving W about that.

3. There's a fuel shortage. But only if you ask Exxon-Mobil. And if you squint your eyes realllly tightly, you can almost pretend that $10,000000000 in record profits is actually just a big zero. Poor guys.

4. I'm glad you're trying to save the sharks and all but don't you think it's a little late to be worrying about the environment? In case you didn't realize (those fences around the White House are real tall-like), the ice caps are melting, the Earth is heating up, and your hubby allowed Texas to become the most polluted state in the country when he was Governor. Enjoy your Crawford sunset.

5. Over ten million Americans are jobless. Wait, nevermind -- make that ten million and one. At least Georgie will have plenty of support groups to join.

4 Response to "Some Tips for the Queen"

  • Logan Says:

    Did someone not get her bottle this morning?

  • rvac106 Says:

    Thought I'd just take another opportunity to attempt to coax you ever so gently to the next big thing.... After W., that is, of course.

    The thought that you have no money directly in the Stock Market, so this doesn't effect you as much, is erroneous. The money that Wall Street is stealing is coming from all of us. United Airlines stock is being manipulated, and their pension fund has been decimated. Whomsoever can gather all the loosed ends up and create a readable narrative on what's going on behind the closed doors will blow the doors off the big scam, and prolly get a Pulitzer, to boot.

    Now, if you want my opinion, GW is now free to pursue his real dream... to parlay being the president of the US in to the job he's always wanted.... Commissioner of Baseball.

    (I must credit Elliott with that one. He knows GW so much better than I, although, at his Governor's inauguration some years back, GW did wink at me. Now I know where Sarah got the idea.)


  • Anonymous Says:

    1) Placing the whole economy at the feet of GW is rather extreme. The whole world economy is unstable. The high fuel prices across the board were a major hinderance, which was driven by India's and China's previously growing economy.

    2) Trying to imply that any American could have traveled to Iraq in the past 20 years safely until GW hit office is pretty extreme, too. I suppose it would be a tourist attraction to watch thousands getting gassed? Or maybe the area was stable during the 8 year Iraq-Iran war?

    3) I'm not even sure where you're gonig with this one? You should really link to where they said fuel shortage, since that is a lot harder to believe than the record profits.

    4) Didn't look into the whole shark thing, but buy stating that things are happening and then attempting a weak link to blame GW again by using a very biased source about the #1 polluted state (I searched and got mixed results)

    5) People are jobless. What is he supposed to do, it's a cycle of business. Just admit that he's damned if he do, damned if he don't in your book no matter what.

  • Mean Rachel Says:

    Oh, I'll gladly admit that.