An OpenLetter to the Knife-Happy Vandal Who Slashed My Tires Last Night.

Dear McSlasher,

My coworker's first words to me today when he came to give me a ride to work were: "You sure seem to be handling this well." I guess he expected me to be mad or crying or both.

Well, yeah, I thought. Yeah, my two front four tires are slashed and yeah, I could think of a lot better ways to spend $500 than on a deductible to my insurance company to get my car towed and two new tires. Yeah, it's a total hassle and really frosts my cookies that someone would decide to be so destructive and -- frankly -- wasteful.

But even with those thoughts, this morning when I looked at the razor holes and slits in the sidewall of my tires, I didn't feel surprised or saddened. A literal manifestation of how I have felt for the last few years -- gouged, deflated and disabled -- was sitting before my very eyes, in a puddle surrounded by fallen leaves, the kinds that start to scatter off the cedar elms this time of year that I used to run through as a child barefoot, exclaiming "Golden coins! Golden coins!"

Well, I'm not a kid anymore and the golden coins are falling on Washington politicians and burying Wall Street investors. And while you may get your kicks writing "OBAMA SUCKS" notes to leave on my windshield, I entertain myself by calling people in Sealy, Texas old enough to remember voting when there was a poll tax but progressive enough to see Obama's vision. I walk outside on achingly hot sunny weekends, and suck down cold Dr. Peppers in the doorway of the home of a retired Navy officer wanting an Obama sign, while you creep around in the night with a box cutter. Because while you are clearly evil and destructive, there is nothing more evil and destructive than those who sit idly by and do nothing. As Martin Luther King Jr. said, "We will have to repent not merely for vitriolic words and actions of the bad people, but for the appalling silence of the good people."

So, McSlasher, go ahead and do your damage. Key my doors -- I know a good paint shop. Dent my hood -- Fix-A-Dent loves me. But I'm keeping my plates, I'm keeping my voice and I might even slap a few stickers on the bumper now.

Oh and my tires? Slash them again. The tire repair shop owner (I'm guessing he's a Democrat) gave me a lifetime warranty on them.

How's that for change we can believe in?



17 Response to "An OpenLetter to the Knife-Happy Vandal Who Slashed My Tires Last Night."

  • Howard Says:

    in my experience, this is the only effective way to deal with bullies -- especially the cowardly, dead-of-the-night kind.

    Let us know if you need a Mean Rachel Tire Replacement Fund.

  • Logan Says:

    I love your spirit! I wish I knew more people like you.

  • MRhé Says:

    Excellent philosophy!

  • cyrus Says:

    You forgot to add something to that last sentence:

    "How's that for change you can believe in,BITCHES?

    OK, you're a bigger person than me.

  • Fancy Pants Says:

    You are awesome. And BTW, Rudy loves you.

  • Anonymous Says:

    I saw the coverage on FOX 7 about the damage to your car. I am not an Obama supporter but I respect everyone's opinions and preferences and I was disappointed to hear about such an act of cowardice and senselessness. I will be happy to contribute if you do start a "tire relief fund" as the earlier poster stated. All the best to you & may the
    loser(s)that damaged your car get what's coming to them! Cheers, Josh Roberts

  • Anonymous Says:

    Sorry about your tires. Obama's ideas are bad but not as bad as property damage.

    To you and to your mcSlasher: all the arguing.. it's not worth it. Both Obama and McCain are bought and paid for so it doesn't matter who wins. If Obama had one ounce of "not-paid-for" bones in his body, he would have denounced the bailout and instantly be elected President. But he can't because he's financed by Golden Sachs (like McCain). So save the drama. They are both worthless options. There is no difference. Neither of them have come out to end the Federal Reserve so they both want to prop the system together which will make everything worse. (It won't work. The market is more powerful.)

    And they're both aggressive in Iran. They both want to leave permanent bases in Iraq. They both are aggressive in Georgia for the pipeline. And they both are for aggression in Afghanistan.

    So what's all the arguing about?

    Well, McCain has too many homes, and Obama sometimes doesn't wear a pin. That's about it.

    With our central bank, it doesn't matter what either candidate wants to do (foreign or domestic policy) because we are so broke, it will all end anyway. So vote ANY 3rd party and leave Rachel's tires alone.

    Alan Smith

  • Mean Rachel Says:

    Thanks Josh. I haven't seen the news report yet, but I appreicate your support not slashing my tires. :)

    And Fancy, I enjoyed meeting Rudy (and the camera guy - can't remember his name). They were super nice and funny. Thanks for the alley-oop!

  • Allen Says:

    I just saw the news coverge and had to give you my respect and support. Too bad the sad losers that did it couldn't grow a pair and tell you how they felt to your face. Sad needledick fuckers.
    Sorry for the vulgarity but I applaud you for being smarter and stronger than they can hope to be.

  • MRhé Says:

    Is there a clip of this news coverage anywhere on the internets? And if so, why isn't it located in this corner of the blogosphere?

  • Mean Rachel Says:

    Thanks Allen!

    Mrhe, you can see it here.


  • Citizen Josh Says:

    started my new blog and left a post about this incident. Feel free to join my blog and I will do the same b/c it's good to have a someone to counter points and arguments;it certainly makes everything more interesting:

    anyway, all the best to you, cheers, Josh

  • The Happiest Activist Says:

    when I heard this happened to you (through Will) I immediately thought, "Conservative extremists!"

    But today on campus I saw a student with an Obama sign give the finger to a girl handing out McCain/Palin pins. Sure, I may been screaming obscenities in my mind, but that drove the point home for me: no one is any more hateful than anyone else. Some just aren't that creative.

  • Carrie Says:

    I have Obama and Democratic stickers on my car, and I've received my second nasty note. Got a bottle of water flung at me on the Tollway. I can't say the tire-slashing of your car comes as much of a surprise to me - in fact, I mentioned to my husband the other day that I'm stunned I haven't been keyed yet.

    Keep fighting the good fight, and I hope they find the cowardly bastard that got your tires.

    All the best to you, and GOBAMA! :)

  • No socialists Says:

    Well, it seems to go both ways. I have a anti-Obama sticker on the back of my van, and I now have discovered two tires with nails embedded in them. Thanks a lot, whoever you are, you could have killed me and my family if I had a blowout at high speed.

  • Fancy Pants Says:

    Hey girl. I posted a blog on and am linking it to Austin Metabloggers to try to get more response to your story. FYI.

    Here's the blog address:

  • Rob Says:

    My tires were slashed last night on avenue B. Where did you get said "lifetime warranty?" Thanks.