We've All Got Friends in Low Places

So there's been a lot of chatter about John Edwards and his "zipper problem" -- my favorite expression ever that some old woman said to me when describing Clinton's (President Circle-Arrow, not Senator Circle-Plus-Sign) infidelities. In Texas, everyone's been a-twitter (and not in the meta sense of the word) about the fact that Fred Baron allegedly paid to have Edwards' baby's mama floozy aide Lewinsky 2.o mistress moved "away from these folks."

Aside from the fact that I a) don't care about the moral implications of cheating politicians (um, quite frankly, there are enough cheating-regular-folk storylines that I have to keep up with) and b) don't care about the moral implications of cheating politicians, I think it's a little old. I mean, we've done the Clinton thing. We've done the Spitzer thing. Republicans really ought to take my own personal point of view on life which is that all men are lying assholes, and then they'd be way better off.

Bitter? Me?

No...I'm just a Democrat.

Anywho, whatever way you slice it, I find it rather uncanny that while all of this bru-ha-ha unfolds surrounding Fred Baron and John Edwards, who just canceled a keynote at a fundraiser here in Texas, Senator John McCain plans on attending a fundraiser sponsored by Ralph Reed, a buddy of the esteemed former lobbyist, Jack Abramoff.

I'm sorry, but the last time I checked, this isn't some Muslim country (right, Congressman McCaul?) where adultery, infidelity, or just general horn-doggery is a criminal felony. This Edwards business ain't exactly something that is punishable by stoning (as much as I would like to go three rounds with my ex and a few large chunks of granite).

But I am pretty sure that Abramoff is currently serving prison time for charges on conspiracy, tax evasion, and honest services (excuse me while I snort wine out of my nose).

I dunno. Seems like maybe the Republican nominee, aside from making sure he keeps his poker out of fire, should also be making sure he doesn't get caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Am I crazy?

No...I'm just a Democrat.

6 Response to "We've All Got Friends in Low Places"

  • Logan Says:

    By this logic if enough people started KILLING then you'd just come to expect people to kill and you'd not let yourself worry about something as simple as murderers because it became commonplace? Maybe an extreme example but I don't think because LOTS of GUYS do it (and i'm sure not all the women they hook up with are single) that it makes it okay to dismiss with a "so what" attitude.

    However, i do agree that it shouldn't be a one sided attempt to point out the wrong doing. certainly both Ds and Rs would agree that what he did was wrong. I think that unless his actions or the results of his actions became an impedence on his ability to do his job as our Senator OR if his actions were carried out or covered up with the use of TIME or MONEY that is allocated for him to be working as our senator then the dealings should be between him and his family.

  • FUBAR Says:

    I remember President Bill Clinton's first trip back to Texas after the Lewinski stuff broke wide open. He was appearing in San Antonio for a fundraiser at the home of a wealthy Democratic donor, and Ann Richards was scheduled to introduce him. She was tight-lipped about what she'd say, but how the world's premiere feminist intended to introduce the world's premiere womanizer was a great source of curiosity to everybody at the event. It seemed to me that everybody was a bit nervous, as we waited for the appearance.

    Finally, they appeared on a stage at the end of the pool area at the wealthy Democrat's home - her approaching from one direction, him from another. She looked annoyed. He looked nervous. The crowd hushed without being urged to do so. The tension grew.

    Governor Richards approached the mic with no introduction (which was not what had been planned). She stood there for what seemed like forever, still looking annoyed, as if she was still deciding what to say.

    When she finally did speak, she didn't say, "I'm Ann Richards," or "It's my pleasure to introduce..." or anything else. Instead, she started in the middle, completely disarmed the situation, and delivered the most powerful and shortest introduction of a President of the United States I have ever heard before or since.

    The sum total of her speech, the way I remember it:

    "Well hell, people, what do we expect? Women have been forgiving men for a long damn time, and we'll be doing it for a long time to come, so it’ll turn out ok despite you men. Bill Clinton, get up here, it's your turn to talk."

  • Mean Rachel Says:

    Why the hell aren't there more women like Ann Richards in politics these days?

  • FUBAR Says:

    MR...there's one more like her than there was before you got involved.

  • Libby at Aurora Primavera Says:

    It's an impossible combination. Power (which corrupts, often absolutely, viz. Lord Acton) + men are controlled by their dicks. It's very difficult for women to comprehend this or understand how the Spitzers,
    Clintons, and Edwards of the world cannot keep it in their pants. They cannot--it's as simple as that. The circumstances are so commonplace that it's more noteworthy to look goggle-eyed at the powerful men who DON'T succumb. And they appear to be few.

  • FUBAR Says:

    Libby - while you're singling out Clinton, Edwards and Spitzer, don't forget about McCain's affair.

    I'm FUBAR's dick, and I approved this message.