An Open Letter to Who I Was in 2007
Dear Mean Rachel version '07,
First of all, you seriously need to get to an ENT specialist and have your ear infection checked out. Like, yesterday. There is only so much Nyquil and wine can do.
Stop watching the news. It doesn't matter anyway in the end.
NaNoWriMo might just be one of those once in a NaNonceinaLifetime experiences only achievable in 2005, so stop signing up for it every year and not writing a single word except to complain.
Take Gus for another walk around Town Lake. Remember unconditional love.
Tony Snow resigns so screw him.
Go to the Ivory Cat every chance you get. Punch Kenny Luna. And stop trying to win the free drink.
The best thing you purchase this year will be boot camp and piano lessons.
A tequila shot on a Thursday is a bad idea. Two tequila shots on a Thursday is a worse idea. A bet made on a Thursday when you wager a bottle of Patron that you will be up at 5 AM the next day is the worst idea you've had in 23 years.
Speaking of bets, leave the blackjack table at Bellagio when the man from Turkey comes back to deal. You can thank me for that $150 later.
There is no such thing as "nothing crazy" when you go out with Gingy. Plan accordingly.
Never go to free events on Auditorium Shores, no matter how much people try to convince you otherwise.
Hold on to Memorial Day weekend. Four girls never had it so good during such a shitty time in your lives. Take the lumps.
Moving absolutely sucks but there's no way to avoid it. That's the only good thing about it.
Just man up and buy a new dryer rather than trying to fix your old one repeatedly.
Get Shah's last name or cab number so you don't have to wonder if he got deported.
Sometimes you have to just hang up the phone. And that's okay.
"Dismiss whatever insults your soul," is the most profound sentence you will read all year. Thank you, Whitman.
Don't speed on Highway 71 for chrissake.
You'll absolutely wear the musical hoodie again.
Some people you're only supposed to run into every 5 years.
At 2 AM, a pair of heels will hurt your feet no matter what. Try not to be marching on a long-distance trek from one side of downtown to the other at that time.
One less vodka soda is a good general rule of thumb.
Don't assume everyone is lying to you. Most people are. But some aren't.
Chubby Charles refuses to go outside for the entire year, gains a lot of weight, and becomes more of a throw pillow.
You survive 2007, which is probably more accurately put as "2007 survived you." There were some ups, some serious ups, some downs and some serious downs.
But such is the life of a celebrity blogger in the making.
Peace,
Mean Rachel version '08
First of all, you seriously need to get to an ENT specialist and have your ear infection checked out. Like, yesterday. There is only so much Nyquil and wine can do.
Stop watching the news. It doesn't matter anyway in the end.
NaNoWriMo might just be one of those once in a NaNonceinaLifetime experiences only achievable in 2005, so stop signing up for it every year and not writing a single word except to complain.
Take Gus for another walk around Town Lake. Remember unconditional love.
Tony Snow resigns so screw him.
Go to the Ivory Cat every chance you get. Punch Kenny Luna. And stop trying to win the free drink.
The best thing you purchase this year will be boot camp and piano lessons.
A tequila shot on a Thursday is a bad idea. Two tequila shots on a Thursday is a worse idea. A bet made on a Thursday when you wager a bottle of Patron that you will be up at 5 AM the next day is the worst idea you've had in 23 years.
Speaking of bets, leave the blackjack table at Bellagio when the man from Turkey comes back to deal. You can thank me for that $150 later.
There is no such thing as "nothing crazy" when you go out with Gingy. Plan accordingly.
Never go to free events on Auditorium Shores, no matter how much people try to convince you otherwise.
Hold on to Memorial Day weekend. Four girls never had it so good during such a shitty time in your lives. Take the lumps.
Moving absolutely sucks but there's no way to avoid it. That's the only good thing about it.
Just man up and buy a new dryer rather than trying to fix your old one repeatedly.
Get Shah's last name or cab number so you don't have to wonder if he got deported.
Sometimes you have to just hang up the phone. And that's okay.
"Dismiss whatever insults your soul," is the most profound sentence you will read all year. Thank you, Whitman.
Don't speed on Highway 71 for chrissake.
You'll absolutely wear the musical hoodie again.
Some people you're only supposed to run into every 5 years.
At 2 AM, a pair of heels will hurt your feet no matter what. Try not to be marching on a long-distance trek from one side of downtown to the other at that time.
One less vodka soda is a good general rule of thumb.
Don't assume everyone is lying to you. Most people are. But some aren't.
Chubby Charles refuses to go outside for the entire year, gains a lot of weight, and becomes more of a throw pillow.
You survive 2007, which is probably more accurately put as "2007 survived you." There were some ups, some serious ups, some downs and some serious downs.
But such is the life of a celebrity blogger in the making.
Peace,
Mean Rachel version '08
Labels:
2007,
2008,
New Year,
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mean rachel! i followed back to the margarita/tequilla fiasco of '07. seriously, april 1st? xo gingy.
I stopped watching the news a long time ago. It just pisses me off too much now.
I like your comment about NaNo.
Also I seem to recall a lot of tortured G-chatting after that Tequila Thursday...
maxie: yay! stay on that bandwagon and don't go back!
mrhe: :) You of all people should understand.
And yes, I do remember saying "Please tell me this will be funny someday."
gingy: time flies when you're getting jilted and dumped.