1) That this show exists.
2) That the group of contestants are being "coached" by the three biggest weirdos in the world (a facial piercing and a British accent does not a Rico Suave make)
3) That I actually have watched this show.
I do have a good excuse. As someone who doesn't watch a bunch of TV, I occasionally will flip through the channels on Sunday afternoons. I caught this on Sunday and kept watching as I realized it was filmed here in Austin in some of the bars we frequent. I can't be as hardcore of a bar hopper as I pride myself, though, because I never saw any cameras. I guess they were using hidden cameras in the bars, but don't they make everyone sign waivers to be on TV?
I digress. It looks like they trolled around Sixth Street (there's a few recognizable shots of Pure) and a little bit on Fourth Street (in the ghostlike remains of Foundation). The group of guys -- compromised of the typical geek, 40 year old virgin, overweight low-self-esteemer, Ricky-Martin impersonatr and a "well, he could be cute" dude -- are being taught how to pick up chicks by three even more bizarre stereotypes.
The cornerstone coach of the show, a man who goes by "Mystery," (surely his name is taken from "it's a mystery as to whom would want to be 'picked up' by him"), is flesh-crawlingly creepy. He wears strange goggles 90% of the time and talks in spurts like Edward Norton's character in Primal Fear. If this guy tried to pick me up, I would be thoroughly convinced that the night would end with a hack saw and trash bags.
Some parts of the show are humorous -- especially the fumbling opening lines the guys try to use. One makes the mistake of, when told by a girl that she moved to Austin from New Orleans, asking how her family did during Katrina. "Two people died," she responded. Chalk that up there with "Things you don't want to yell out at someone in a bar." I also like the way Mystery tries to give vocabulary lessons on the art of picking up girls. According to this, two girls standing together is called a "Two Set." Wow. Really? That's good. "Not as good as your 'By Mennen' but still very good."