Once again, my digital camera made an amazing recovery from me pulling on the lens until it worked again. Sometimes these newfangled objects need a little whack on the side, a little tough love if you will. So, thank you for your efforts of finding me a temporary replacement, but my camera's a fighter. Even people dropping it at block walking (not me!) can't bring it down for long.

I went over to Cheryl's mom's Cindy's house tonight to learn how to use a video camera. It was really just a reason to go over there, as I obviously know how to use a video camera. Thank goodness they've got a tripod! Phew. I was worried about my hand shaking the whole time. So I am going to film le-wedding and then Cheryl and Craig will be off to le Paris.

I am le tired.

Tomorrow is November 1. Actually 30 minutes from now it will be November 1. It's unbelievable that November is actually here. I thought about doing some writing at midnight tonight, and maybe I will, but I think my tiredness is going to win out over my insomnia-inducing depression.

Yeah...today wasn't so great. I don't know...I think it's mainly me just feeling sorry for myself and this impending wedding weekend I am going to be attending. I was excited about going until I was over there tonight and just started to feel overwhelmed. Another thing to add to the top of my list of things not to do while your boyfriend is in Iraq...especially here on week 2, which is dragging its feet at a sloth-like pace.

And so it goes.

Not much to say, really. I'm super sore from the jiu jitsu class yesterday. It's wearing off a bit but goodness...today was rough! Made me wish I still drank caffeine.

Chrisy came over tonight and made me a delicious dinner! Thanks for that! She also brought good company and a desire to watch The Bachelor with her, so we did that, and then watched Friday Night Lights.

I got some of the pictures from her party, too. They turned out kind of funny.

AmyGangsta', the sleepy soccer/cross country skiing star, me, and Chrisy Snow, enjoying the cool weather (actually Amy was freezing and wore a wool sweater all night until she made us go inside).










Two boobs and snakes on a plane. Courtney's silver hair looked pretty cool.



Amy Gangsta' decided to open her eyes and briefly smile for a picture. You may be wondering what I am doing in this picture. This is titled "Mean Rachel disapproving of illegal drugs" and the face I apparently make to show my disapproval.

I guess that's really all I have to say. I am gearing up for November 1. Tomorrow is my last day of freedom! I *think* I have finally come up with something to write about. Not a plot but at least some characters to write about.

On the same note, I am going to be in for some trouble this year because next weekend I am going to be occupied on Friday and Saturday evening with Cheryl & Craig's wedding. From there, I am meeting up with two ladies from Ft. Hood coming to Austin for a girl's night. Chrisy and Martha started talking tonight about going to Wurstfest (our version of Oktoberfest) on Sunday.

Next weekend, on Veteran's Day, I am headed up to Argyle! I can't wait. I am going up to see Suzy, the woman I lived with when I worked in the Denton-Argyle area (between Dallas and Ft. Worth). Suzy is incredible. It would take me too long to describe just how amazing she is, but let me just say that right now she has a collection of 10 horses at her house, flies back and forth from Denver to Amarillo to Washington seeing all of her children and also doing a foster care program. Her husband is a pilot for Southwest so she uses her miles to transport babies to their new homes -- for free! When she's not on the go, she bakes like crazy and my favorite memory of living at their house was sitting by their pot-bellied stove on the one day I would get off from the barn and just soaking up heat on those bitterly cold days. She would always be cooking muffins or making smoothies or chocolate chip cookies. A hilarious moment was when once she dropped the plastic spatula into the blender and turned it on and everything went FLYING! We had to strain shards of plastic out of our smoothies and wipe liquid off the ceiling. I love Suzy!

I'll try to get my camera working before this weekend so I can get some good pictures for everyone...but I'm not too sure about my success in NaBloPoMo if I am going to be gone so much, sans wireless.

Happy Sunday everybody! Another weekend down. I've got this!

Last night was apparently National Have A Halloween Party night and we had Chrisy's and Jennie's to go to. AmyGangsta called me at 8:50 PM and said "About a costume..." She had just gotten home from a horse show. Luckily, I used my quick thinking and told her to wear a jersey and some track pants and go as a soccer player. She had a soccer jersey that said "BIMBO" (apparently a brand of bread in Guadalajara, but quite appropriate in the US as well...) on it that she'd bought in Mexico. So she arrived and I gave her my "Wayne Gretzsky" Adidas bag and we used that as our purse.
Documented proof that I got dressed up (I know, it's hard to believe):



If you were looking closely and if you attended Westlake High School between the years of 1996-2000, you might have seen two familiar faces in there. I was taking a picture of the Saudi when he said "...Rachel?" Connor Finnagan and Mike McLaggan (the pseudo-Army guy) somehow know Chrisy's roommate. I'm not exactly sure how (she was out in the backyard when they arrived through the front door where we were sitting since AmyNotSoGangsta was cold). At any rate, Chrisy Snow proceeded to get quite chummy with Mike, at which point Amy & I left.
On our way to the next stop, I realized AmyGangsta' was asleep. Not just dozing with her head off to one side but softly snoring and out like a light. Having been the victim many a time of waking up at 4 AM to go to a horse show and then getting dragged around to various locations late at night, I realized it would probably be the right thing to do just to take her home. I myself was also tired and wanted to rest up for my jiu jitsu class today.

That's right! This morning (thank you, Daylight Savings, for ending and allowing me an extra hour of sleep) I woke up and went to my 9:30 AM Relson (Pronounced "Helson" as it is Portuguese and they pronounce the first "R" in every word as an "H" but I'm sure you already knew that, Goldie) Gracie (aww...it's Gracie Goldie!) Jiu Jitsu Academy.

I had researched going to this class on my own but then when I was telling my roommate how I had plans to go, she told me that her friend Bosco trains there. Phew! So I exchanged some Myspace messages with him and he agreed to go on a Sunday for some moral support.

My instructor Phil started me off with a lot of stretching. I actually rolled around on this long tube that was really good for my flexibility in my back. I'm kind of surprised I have never seen or heard of doing that. You lay sideways on it and use your feet to push your body up and down on the tube as it rolls down your sciatic nerve and hamstring. Then you lay down on it on your back and push yourself up and down along the floor with it. Basically, it's like a rolling pin for humans. Then Phil got me started on doing some grip breaks where you push people's grip away and how to leverage your body against theirs. From there we moved on to him showing me how to take someone down by putting my arm around theirs and then my hand on their neck/shoulder, then ramming my head into them while going for the back of their knee with my free arm. From there we went into side control and he taught me how to choke someone with my forearm across their neck. By this time Bosco showed up and Bosco and I paired off and were working on the moves. The he taught us some other stuff from side control -- like how to stick our arm back through their armpit and cross it back over their head and under (it's called a pillow choke I think) and grab on underneath with our opposite hand. Then he taught us the key grip, I think that's what it was called, where you have their arm pressed back against the floor and you grab it with your hand underneath and push it up and back. I kind of like that one.
Then he taught us how to get away when someone has you in side control, where you have to "shrimp" out. This was hard for me, you have to bump your hips up and then stick your ass out away from the person and get your knees around so you can get your legs in front of you and kick them away. From there, once we kicked them away you have to learn how to get up which was also kind of tricky. He taught us the guillotine as well -- how to do it and also get out of it. That was pretty cool. Then we worked on some variations of the arm bar and how to apply it depending on where you are. An arm bar is basically where you lock your legs over the person's shoulder while you're laying on your back holding their arm parallel with you across you chest. Then you use your knees to grip their arm and by bridging your hips, you can pretty much snap their arm in two because they can't get away. When you practice you have to tap out before that happens of course.

It was quite interesting. I am already kind of sore.....the class itself is 3 hours long. It goes at a pretty slow pace where you sort of work in pairs so you have some time to relax. Oh -- a funny part! Before Bosco got there, I was paired off with the instructor for a while. He was teaching me how you can move someone that's behind you basically by picking them up. Try to imagine this...I am standing with my legs apart and he comes up and wraps his arms around me from behind. The first thing you do is kind of jump downward and crouch, not a lot but a little bit. Then, you put your right leg behind his left leg and rotate forward and then back around with your shoulders. While you do this, you grab their thigh. You basically pick them up, but not using your hands or anything, it is all in your hips (almost like resting a baby on your hip) and your thighs. You basically push the person onto your right thigh that is behind their leg. Well, I don't think he expected me to be able to pick him up, so the first time I did it I was like "Well, I guess now's the part where I pick him up." I picked him up and we both almost fell over...he was kind of caught off guard and wasn't ready for it. He was like "Okay...yeah, let's try that again." The second time I picked him up and he was going with it a little bit more and then I'm just standing there holding this guy and he's like "Okay...good. I'm 170 pounds, so the fact that you're carrying me around is pretty good!" It was funny! I felt like saying "Dude, this is nothing compared to trying to drag around 1000 lb. horses all the time."

After my jiu jitsu class I went down to the headquarters for the democratic effort in Austin to do some block walking for democratic candidate Valinda Bolton. My cousin Will had invited me and he came along with his friend Matt. We had a really good time...despite the fact that Matt started talking about Project Runway and said "You remind me of Heidi Klum" and I said "Ha! Because of her voice?" and he was like "Yeah, it's really high and shrill." Shrill! Thank you! Just what I was going for. So then I just went with it -- I kept saying really loudly and obnoxiously like Heidi "This is your objective!" every time we'd discuss what house we were going to next. Another funny part was when Matt told one lady (the first house) that he was working for the "Belinda Volton" campaign.

The guy at the HQ took a picture of everyone, although I don't know why it's in sepia and he then proceeded to drop my camera and I think it is now broken. I am going to try to do my "fix" on it which I did last time but I don't know if it will make it back. It keeps saying "LENS ERROR." IS2 -- I'm glad you got the upgrade. ;-)

I'm sure you can all figure out where I am (the one with the shrill voice) and that's my cousin to the right. His friend Matt is the one crouched down on the ground next to the girl standing in front of me.

Anyway, an exhausting day indeed!

Well guys, I'm writing this post from my new laptop in the lap o' luxury in my living room. This will feed into my sloth-dom quite nicely. I went for an hour long walk today before the Geek Squad came and hooked up my wireless router (I'm not being derogatory, that's just what they're called).
I wanted to let you all know that Chrisy pulled through and put the USB together with her camera and uploaded her pictures from last night! What a great gal. So, as promised, her camera's take on our night last night...

Mayor Will Wynn, me, James White the owner of the Broken Spoke, and Chrisy on our big night out. Also me, Chris Bell and Chrisy outside the Broken Spoke.


We took this inside the Broken Spoke at our table -- Chrisy was playing with the self-timer on her new digital camera. I thought it turned out rather cute.

Friday came on strong and fast, didn't it?


Last night I went to my mom's house for dinner. I took the picture below while stuck on terrible Mopac traffic -- I thought the thunderclouds looked pretty cool over Town Lake. To the right, if you can see the crane, is where the Rolling Stones played last Sunday night as well as where the ACL fest is held. I also liked the lone rower in the golden reflection of the clouds. Pretty good considering I stuck my hand out to the right and just clicked -- I wanted to keep my eyes on the brake lights ahead of me.



Tonight was a night of politics. I worked the politics of a friendship neglected and took Chrisy, known otherwise as Beautiful Girl A (or was it B? I can't remember), out for a date. The plan: Meet at Mt. Bonnell at 7 PM and let Mean Rachel take it from there.
It was almost dusk when I met up with her at Mt. Bonnell. I was kind of hoping the sun would be still in the process of going down but that would have only happened in the summer at 7 PM and we would have had to trade the awesome, crisp fall temperatures for good lighting.

Chrisy's about to leave for Tanzania in two weeks and had somehow conned one of her IT guys into "loaning" her a company Cannon, the huge digital ones that take awesome photos. She also had a telephoto lense for it that was awesome. She got some great pics tonight for still being new at it.

I busted out the box of Target Sangria that I had purchased for our meeting at Mt. Bonnell along with some paper cups. I vaguely remember 1/2 blogging about the wine cubes, and this thing was great! Good-tasting sangria for the gal on the go -- came with a spout that you pull out and everything, but in a smaller amount than the usual Franzia. I think it was the equivalent of 1/2 bottle of wine. We sipped sangria and took some fun pics. I have realized my camera hates taking pictures at dusk, no matter what automated setting I use, but the pictures still kind of look cool. You get the general idea of what Mt. Bonnell is from them -- or if you tuned in to any of the Real World: Austin (I'm sorry if you did because it made me stop watching the Real World as well), you will remember that is where the guy from Boston and Melinda met for the first time when the all came in from their respective cities. It's basically just a scenic vista overlooking what used to be Hill Country and is now just huge houses along Lake Austin.


Then we headed over to the Broken Spoke to go to the "Rick Perry Retirement Party" that Chris Bell's campaign was hosting. When I got there, Chrisy was calling me ecstatic saying "Where are you?! Chris Bell is here! (me thinking: I know) This is the perfect opportunity to meet him! (me thinking: I already have.)" So when I got to the front door, there is Chrisy all chummy with the Bell camp and had already arranged a photo op. My camera again chose to take a bit of artistic license with this picture, but you get the general idea.

There you have it! Chrisy actually got a much better picture on her Powershot (her other new camera, a little tiny thing) that I'm hoping she might send me eventually. She is such a socialite though I am not sure she'll get to it for a while so I will leave this photo up in it's stead until then.

Mr. Bell was actually just leaving to go back to Houston (after just arriving having come back from Laredo; an inspiring news article here about his trip down to the border) so we said goodbye and went in to do some two-stepping.
We had probably not been in there for more than an hour when I went to go wash my hands and crossed paths with Will Wynn, our mayor, and his wife/girlfriend (this is under debate, as Chrisy claims she did not see a ring on the woman and I didn't see Wynn wearing one, but I am 99% sure he is married with children). I'm not exactly a Wynn fan per se (why I was not invited to the Dan Rather event in his backyard, I have no idea), but I support his endeavors and plus -- Chrisy and I both agreed it would be a true night to remember if we got a picture with the future governor and the current mayor all at the same venue! So Chrisy got a shot on her camera that I'll post on here later. She spent the rest of the night daring me to cut in on his two-stepping with the wife/girlfriend, but I just couldn't do it.
Plus it's not like we had any trouble finding dance partners in the place! We spent most of our night trying to take shots of the people on the dance floor with her telephoto lens. She got some cool ones that I hope she sends to me later. I'll get them up here if she does.

Also, a photo from my march on Sunday for the Bell campaign -- the candidate talking with the press just before the march.

I have deduced, and I'm not one-hundred percent sure of this but I'm going with it, that the slick, leather jacket Washington-type in the background is Tim McCann, Bell's campaign manager, and author of the Katrina response to me. He is always hovering around (as he was tonight) and I am pretty sure the true duty of a campaign manager is to hover.

Your update on IS2: I heard from him last night via email. KillaPete and Richard are about to start moving forward to Iraq. IS2 will be in Kuwait a bit longer (since I suppose it has to do with when you arrive). He is frustrated with the shower situation -- apparently they are not very clean and it's impossible to stay clean. Sounds like camping hell to me.
Outrageous Tidbit of the Day: They have to pay $5 an hour to use the internet in Kuwait. 'Nuff said.

The Geek Squad guy comes tomorrow at 1 PM to set up my new laptop (which I have since found out my mom could do, so that certainly means that I would have been fine but whatever...) and then it's off to the Wiggins house for some ghoulish fun.

Can I just say that this has to be one of the most beautiful fall days on record in Austin?

I mean...really... 70 degrees, sunny, breezy. It has that "It rained two days ago and yesterday it was humid but now it's all gone and it's cool" feel that Texas rarely gets. Who knew we could be cool, dry and lush from a fresh rain?
I took this picture with my Sidekick out in the back of the property, looking west through the trees into the Texas Hill country.
In case you guys were wondering what it looked like.

Thank you, Mother Nature!

So I was scrolling through the archives from last year, and found this conversation I had with a certain Dunndee.
Despite the fact that it looks like I had it translated to thirteen year old AOL'er speak, I had forgotten this talk I had with him. It is a bittersweet memory, especially now -- with the mention of his inevitable return to Iraq, the concept of forgetting versus justificiation.

So much has changed this year.

So I have taken all of the advice that I've been given and tinkered a bit with my template.
I fixed the comments in the sidebar. It's a long story as to why they were as bad as they were, but it partly has to do with the fact that Blogger does not recognize the "titles" of my post, so I have to put the date/time stamp as the link for the comments. From there, I didn't realize that I had to change the date/time setting in the main Blogger beta in order to shorten it. I had the comments setting as Day, Date, Time, which was obviously very long. So I shortened it to just the date, which makes things much neater over there on the east side. I also took my mother's advice and made the font size smaller and condensed it a bit.
As for the gray bar, there is no changing that. Basically, it is basically a repeating image background. So, like the date/time stamp, I can't change it using HTML. I would have to design my own background image (mom...?) and put it up there. If you want to see what I mean, here is what is repeating over and over again in my background: Click here. The guy basically just Photoshopped a background and it is repeating until it gets to the bottom of the page, at which point it meets up with the footer image, creating one long grey and white background.

So, in a nutshell: you guys are just going to have to grim and bear it with that.

I am starting to realize that obsessive-compulsive HTML tinkering is the key to maintaining my sanity. I like being able to control all (or most) of the details and see results. Too bad all of life isn't as fair and balanced as HTML.

But good news is -- it's Friday tomorrow!!

Saw this on my Facebook and Myspace notices:

From:
Jenny
K. (Texas)
To:
Halloween- The Party For
Ladies and Gents of the Night
Subject:
Mickey's Sponser Endless
Beer
Message:
So Mickey's, as into Mickey's forties Malt Beer Company is
sponsoring the party. Basically there was an open myspace invite for the party.
It became one of the top ten events for this weekend in Austin, so Mickey's is
giving Wiggins as much free beer as we want....So come, dress up and celebrate
Wiggins with the awesomeness of Mickey's.

This is the party that I am begrudginly going to this weekend for Halloween. I am dragging AmyGangsta' with me who will be going as a golfer. I will be her referee/caddy. Apparently it will be a bit harder than I originally thought now to wake up on Sunday morning for my jiu jitsu class (yes, three hours of jiu jitsu). It seems somewhat sadly ironic that the moment my favorite forties drinking boy goes away (along with everyone's favorite forties drinking roommate) a random friend of mine cons me into going to her Halloween party and it gets sponsored by Mickey's.


Sorry boys.

Welcome! I know you are all in awe at my new template. I have to say, I'm rather proud of myself. It required some customization on my part -- mainly putting in all of my own links and getting all my "bling" back up (although I need to find new tickers that I can customize the width on so that they'll fit the sidebar -- they'll be back soon or maybe not...).
However what I'm most proud of is my header. I designed it myself! It took a lot of tinkering with the HTML that was already in the code, but then I had to mess with the pixels and borders to get everything looking just right.

Let me know what you think -- hate it, love it, miss the old one.

Although I realize now that blog templates are like fashion sense -- no one tells you how much they don't like your style until you change it!

"Oh I always hated that...glad it's gone now." Thanks guys.

What Not To Wear...on your blog.

Oh my goodness, I love the title of this post so much!

I am thinking (er...contemplating) changing the template again. I know, again. But I am getting bored with the one I have up currently.

What do you guys think about this template? Let me know if I should change, stay with the one I have or suggest a new one for me!

So I had a little bit of time today to stumble across some interesting links. I'll leave them to you to discover as well...

Icons Story -- kind of funny, kind of sad but definitely creative.

Color Scheme -- I think this is mainly for web/art design but what I like is that you can see how people who are partially color blind (IS2, that guy from Little Miss Sunshine who played the role of IS2 as a youth...) see certain colors.

Hassle Me -- Good if you are looking to be bothered about something regularly. Or you can just call your mom. (Oh snap-- cheap shot! She did not just say that.)

Don't Click! -- I've mainly put this up for M@ because I know he loves this kind of stuff.

Speech Generator -- Where is the line that says "I am going to take your boyfriend away?"

13 Year Old Speech Generator -- Translate all of your text into 13 year old AOL'er speak. Or as I like to say -- "TRANSLAET EVERYTHNG IN2 DUNNDEE-SPAAK!111! OMG" Hahahaha, sorry Dunndee, couldn't help myself. You know I always enjoy our tlaks.
What would the NaNo critics say if I translated my entire novel at the end of November using that? Ha! Or -- LOL OMG!!11!

I realized that I forgot to announce my purchase of my laptop. Let me clarify that I bought it not just for NaNoWriMo inspiration but actually because I don't have a computer. I did my entire NaNo last year sitting in my pajamas on my estranged roommate's computer (which is what I'm writing from right now, sans pajamas, because I need the computer guys to hook up the internet), while she and her boyfriend cuddled on the couch. They were curious as to why I was always, always typing.

However, the keyword in that paragraph would be "estranged" and I realized that perhaps I should invest in a laptop, for how much I would use it and for how much it would liberate me. So I bought a 15" Toshiba Satellite with Centium Duo processors. I have no idea what it means but it is good for the three things I told the guy I wanted: word processing, internet surfing and video editing. Plus I liked the size and am looking forward to being That Girl down at Mozart's typing her NaNo by the lake drinking a latte. Even if I am typing "I don't have a plot" until I get to 50K.

Speaking of which, I still don't have a plot. I was talking to my dad about it tonight and he actually had a great Seinfeld episode plotted out involving Las Vegas. I was trying the whole time to figure out how I could turn the Seinfeld characters into my own "originals" and steal his plot.

I really should sit down and think this out. The reason I don't want to do the horse book is because I spent the first 16 years of my life writing only about horses. I am so done with writing about horses. Plus, the book I would write has already been written. Horse Heaven, by Jane Smiley, is exactly what I would have loved to write. Her book is based more on the race horse industry, but it's uncanny how the characters are really all the same across the equine industries. If you ever want to know what the last five years of my life were like, professionally, I encourage you to check out Horse Heaven. Even people who don't ride horses (my mom) get it. It's kind of like reading a book about slave ships even though you weren't on one.

I need to start thinking about what I should write. I was reading this thing online about procrastination, or just the general art of compelling yourself to do something, and it says you are supposed to replace "have" and "need" with "want." And rather than "finishing" you say "starting."

I want to start thinking about what I want to start writing.

That is rather nice.

What do you do when you're stressing out about one massive writing competition?

You sign yourself up for another one.

IS2 called me last night, at almost 11 PM. It was great to hear from him. He said he is trying to adjust to the time change and that not a whole lot is going on there.

I am at a loss for what to write about in November. This is providing ample distraction, so I can at least be thankful for that. I have busted out my Bird by Bird book, by Anne Lamont, which is a great book about writing, if you haven't read it. I first read it in high school and it just so happens my aunt Stella sent me a copy a few months back. I flipped to the chapter that discusses plot, and it basically just says to develop characters and then let them decide the plot. She compares it to having boxes of Christmas ornaments but no tree to hang them on. Someone will eventually come along and say "Okay, there's a tree, but we're going to blind fold you and you have to cut it down with a spoon before you can decorate it."

I kind of understand this, because last year I had characters that I wanted to write about before I had a plot. They drove me along. This year...nothing.

Ugh.

I'm already getting discouraged. This is the problem with plotting things rather than just diving into them.

Today was a good day. It was significantly improved by an email this morning from IS2, letting me know he safely arrived in hot & sandy Kuwait. So happy to hear from him!! A shoutout to my Kuwaiti readership...I hope you are all staying safe.

I'm also feeling happy that I can at least be inspired by the gubernatorial race this time around.
If you are living in Texas, please please vote as early voting began today! Chris Bell is taking the state by storm. Our last election for governor was such a joke, especially the democratic nominee, a non-charismatic guy by the name of Sanchez. It was the first time I was able to vote and my mom said to me when we were standing in line "I'm sorry that the first time you vote it will be for a candidate who is going to lose and is such a pathetic man."
But, this time we've got Chris Bell. I have been taken by him since I saw him at Al Franken's radio show at the Paramount last year (more about my post-Katrina infatuation with Bell can be found here) and was struck by how well spoken he was. I told my mom about him back then but being the naysayer she can sometimes be (despite the fact that she's a yellow-dog democrat), she could not be roused. She was more excited about Kinky. However, now she has come around to the reality of the situation: Bell is the best candidate there is, and better than we've had in a while.
Reminds me of our late, pre-Bush/Perry governor, whom I've also spoken fondly of a time or two on here, Ann Richards. And that flows nicely into what I did yesterday. I marched to the capitol in honor of Ann Richards with the other Chris Bell supporters. I actually ended up leading the march, holding on to the end of this big, street-wide banner that said "Take Texas Back." It was kind of hairy at times because I was on the very far end and walking down the middle of the lanes of Congress, and they hadn't blocked traffic going the other way. However, most people slowed down anyway to see what the story was, so I was okay. I felt somewhat empowered, and just glad we finally have a decent candidate who is gaining support right when he needs it.

On to selfish concerns. I have no idea what I am going to write for my Nano this year. Absolutely not a single idea. Do any of my Nano peeps have their plots picked out? I can't bring myself to steal one off the "Adopt-A-Plot" forums, and frankly don't want to. They're all fantasy and Lord of the Rings type stuff which holds no interest in me. I don't know...I guess I've got a few more days to brainstorm but usually these things come to me a bit faster and I've been thinking about it a lot for a couple of days.

Nano's a great distraction.

Oh and I updated the wishlist link because 1/2 informed me it was no good. So now go! Buy me things.

Just kidding. But not really.

Stolen from 1/2 who stole it from .5 who stole it from someone in Russia I presume.

This was actually a good distraction for the evening, thanks for letting me steal it!!

iTunes as Soothsayer

Put your music player on shuffle.
Press forward for each question.
Use the song title as the answer to the question.
No cheating!


How am I feeling today? "Do It For Me Now" - Angels & Airwaves. My emo Myspace song...but I love it.

Will I get far in life? "Touch The Sky" - Kanye West. Wow. This thing IS accurate!

How do my friends see me? "Pieces of Me" - Ashley Simpson. Um...maybe not so accurate. Although - perhaps all of you see the pieces of me? Hm.

When will I get Married?: "When I Get Where I'm Going" - Brad Paisley with Dolly Parton. Um...more of a song about dying, but...I don't know...I guess it's somewhat appropriate. "Yeah when I get where I'm going/There'll be only happy tears/I will shed the sins and struggles/I have carried all these years/And I'll leave my heart wide open/I will love and have no fear/Yeah when I get where I'm going/Don't cry for me down here..."

What is my best friend's theme song? "Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl" - Broken Social Scene - hm...I'll just give you the lyrics and you can see if it works for Shirikins: "Now you're all gone got your make-up on and you're not coming back./Can't you come back?"


What is the story of my life? "Champagne From A Paper Cup" - Death Cab For Cutie
Sure...I'll buy that. There are only like 10 lines to this song so I'll go ahead and put them here:

I think i'm drunk enough to drive you home now
I'll keep my mouth kept shut from under lock and key
That's rusted firm, no lie
'cause all these conversations wind on and on...
Drinking champagne from a paper cup
Is never quite the same
And every sip's moving through my eyes
And up into my brain
At half past two; about time to leave
'cause the dj's playing rhythm and blues
A sad-sorry state, stutter step to those slammin' grooves
As I'm waiting around for you...

What is/was highschool like?: "Dr. Jones" - Aqua. SAY NO MORE!!!

How can I get ahead in life?: "Better Days" - Goo Goo Dolls. Hm. Yeah. I think everyone would get ahead in life if there were better days...

What is the best thing about me?: "Talk" - Coldplay. I love this song but I don't know what that says about my traits. "You don't know where you're going and you want to talk." Hm. Anyone got thoughts on that one?

How is today going to be?: "Pour Some Sugar On Me" - Def Leppard - No. Not one of those "get drunk and sing this song at 2 AM" days, thankyouverymuch.

What is in store for this weekend?: "Hustler Musik" - Lil Wayne. I don't plan on shooting anyone or doing any crack deals this upcoming weekend, so I'll just enjoy the tunez.

What song describes my parents?: "Be With You" - Enrique Iglesias. If this was titled "I Don't Want To Be With You" this would be much, much more appropriate. I love you Enrique!! AY!

To describe my grandparents? "Water Shows The Hidden Heart" - Enya. I've never actually listened to the full 4.5 minutes of this song, so perhaps it proves that I never got to know my grandparents very well.

How is my life going?: "Stay With Me" - Josh Gracin. I listened to this song for the entire month of October last year, I won't lie. And, honestly, it seems rather apt right now, however futile.

What song will they play at my funeral?: "At The River" - Groove Armada. Yes. If I am having the daecent Southern funeral I hope to have, they'll play something with a little soul.

How does the world see me?: "Five Hundred Miles" - The Proclaimers. HA! This is probably true due to my passion for driving around with this song turned all the way up and with my windows down in downtown Austin. The Artist (Jenny Ann) can probably weigh in on this one, as many a New Year's ago (what was it, like 4 years ago now?) I drove her, my sister, my sister's date, and 2 other friends of theirs home from a night on 6th Street, being the only sober one and giving them a ride home (I slept through New Year's that night). I played this song at the top of the volume in my Ram with the windows down just to stay awake and piss off the 5 drunkies I had in my car, including Goldie and her Mr Right Now making out in the backseat. This song has never been the same since.

Will I have a happy life?: "Have A Little Faith" - Joe Cocker. Love this song. Probably one of my top 5 favorite songs ever.

What do my friends really think of me? "What I Really Mean" - Robert Earl Keen. Strange that this title has "Really" in it. Although..."What I really mean/is I wish you were here." Aww...you all love me, you really love me.

Do people secretly lust after me?: "Even Better Yet" - The Format. Probably my least favorite Format song.

What should I do with my life?: "Hurt" - Johnny Cash. This does not bode well at all! Although perhaps I'll become a famous singer and Joaquin Phoenix will play me in my film.

Will I ever have children?: "Easy Silence" - Dixie Chicks. You guys figure it out...

What is some good advice for me?: "I Can't Help Myself" - Vaughan Penn. Took this off some Laguna Beach soundtrack and...I shit you not, these are the first 2 lines:

I looked in my closet, I looked in my drawer
Lookin' for favorite jeans, lookin' for my favorite jeans

How will I be remembered? "Don't Wait" - Dashboard Confessional. Like the song, like the message.

"Don't wait, don't wait
The road is now a sudden sea
And suddenly, you're deep enough
To lay your armor down."

What is my signature dancing song?: "Stolen" - Dashboard Confessional. Says a lot about my emo collection, although I love this song. I wouldn't say exactly this is my "dancing" song, but it does mention dancing:

"And from the ballroom floor we are in celebration
One good stretch before our hibernation
Our dreams assured and we all, will sleep well
You have stolen
You have stolen my heart"


What do I think my current theme song is?: "Have a Little Faith In Me" - Mandy Moore. I know. I'm pathetic. But I actually love her version of it and...rather appropriate, I suppose for the current mood.

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?: "Waiting For My Real Life To Begin" - Colin Hay. Strange...I actually found this song off of Mandy Moore's top 10 favorite songs. She apparently loves this song, and I do too. We have similar tastes I guess. Anyway, this is a good song for everyone going through a crisis.

What type of men/women do you like? "I Think I'm In Love" - Jessica Simpson. ha! Awesome. I've got both of the sisters. I like parity in my music.

So it's been almost 24 hours now since I said goodbye to IS2, called the cops, ran into a mom from the barn, got stuck in I-35 traffic for over 3 hours, all in a day which can be known from now on as the worst day of my life.

Thanks to everyone for your calls & emails. They mean a lot. Sorry if I have been a phantom friend for the last few weeks. I'll try to do better.

Since then, I have been trying to stay busy. And I've come up with this...a video which is torn in two different directions for good reason. Sometimes things that can be so great can also be so incredibly sad.

I will apologize in advance for the poor-quality image. If you want to watch it on YouTube, click here. I just prefer the way the Photobucket interface looks on my blog.

I hope you guys can appreciate this...

I thought it would be appropriately inappropriate to post the link to my Amazon Wishlist that I have created. As of now, I only have books up. I don't really think I'll put requests for DVDs or music or anything else because who are we kidding, I LimeWire everything.

I am not picky so don't think you need to stick to the list. It's just a good place to start. For those of you who are thinking, "Is it MR's birthday coming up?" the answer is an emphatic "No." I just felt like pandering to my audience (er...that is, my mom, 1/2 and Goldie Hillmont).

Keep in mind, your contribution is tax-deductible to the Mean Rachel Needs To Not Get Meaner But Probably Will fund.

Really.

Cell phone towers are out there -- and Big Brother is watching.
For anyone that's ever been wondering why that building was built so damn tall, there's this Business Weekly Slideshow with some cool pics of hidden cell phones.

I particularly like the picture of the church steeple. A Catholic church over here in West Austin has the same sort of thing. It's a weird, tall cross that isn't even trying to disguise itself. Just straight up "I'm a cell phone tower with a bar through the middle made to look like I'm a cross--kinda."

Well it's Wednesday, although I've completely lost track of time at this point. All I know is that Project Runway airs tonight, completing Season 3, and what a season it has been! I'm looking forward to see if Tattoo-Neck (that's Jeffrey for those of you who don't know) gets DQ'ed. I kind of have mixed feelings, because I would like to see his fashions go down the runway whether he had help on them or not. At the same time, I can't stand the guy and would be really irritated if he won. Hopefully whatever the case, each collection is varied and creative and showcases some different things.
IS2 grilled some tasty chicken fajitas and veggies last night, which I will be enjoying for lunch today as well. I'm trying not to think about the fact that he will only be here for two more days…first thing Saturday morning it's off to pursue OIF. Totally sucks. Hopefully I'll find something to captivate me and entertain me for the next year. Maybe I'll learn how to write HTML and Javascript and make this blog not look so dumpy.
1/2's over on his blog talking about Flags of Our Fathers. Maybe I can talk IS2 into seeing that with me, although so far the movies I've picked to go see lately have been total bombs.
In good news, my dad rallied and somehow found my passport in his house! Yay to not having to tell the US government that my passport fell off the sailboat in the Virgin Islands. Boo to my passport having expired in May of this year. However, I guess it would have been silly for me to think that I could board a plane with a straight face carrying a passport with a picture of my four-eyed, frizzy haired, toothy-grin eleven year old face as the identification. I'll be sad to see my stamps go -- Italy, France, Switzerland and a British one from my trip to the BVI. I guess its not exactly the passport of a world traveler, but it does hold some history to it, right? At least it won't take me as long to get a new passport as it would have without the old one.
Got some exciting moves coming up for next week. Cats galore -- two going from California to Abu Dhabi, UAE and then two coming from Manchester into Maine.

The wrap up from the weekend is going to have to come in bits and pieces, as this upcoming week does not look to lend much time to photo uploading and thought provocation. However, at least I will be able to spread some news to the readers, with the hopes that this will tide everyone over for a little while.

So, like I said - three day weekend, yay. Thursday evening I rolled into the Heights for some bar-b-q chicken made by Master Griller, The Great White Hype, IS2. Chicken, fruit salad, potatoes, good stuff. Afterward, we went with KillaPete to see The Departed, since just about everyone and their brother had been singing its praises, including KillaPete who caught it when he was up in NY last weekend. I was excited to see it, mainly because it had MattyD in it, my secret-crush-celeb, as well as some other classics like Nicholson, Marky Mark, and Leo.

However, somehow through all of the reviews I read and everything I heard about it, not a one person mentioned the fact that it is terribly graphic in terms of violence. It made Pulp Fiction look like a Disney film. I managed to watch the first ten minutes of the film before pulling my Yankees hat down over my eyes (KillaPete declared it "hat night" and so it was) and trying not to listen to the screams, gunshots and other various sounds of brutality. I did pay attention long enough to wonder about the small crocodile-skin box that Nicholson hands Damon in one of the first scenes after Damon's character graduates from police academy. Anyone else wonder about this and/or have any speculations as to what it was? IS2 and I tried to figure it out later, complete with Google searches, yet came up blank. Any thoughts as to the symbolism of this would be appreciated, or you can chalk it up to IS2 and I being crazy (put that under the "Why We Shouldn't Be Allowed Out" file and move on) and forget it.

I'm not really going to write a review about this movie, since I literally spent about two-thirds of the movie with my eyes closed (and what a long two-thirds that was!). I will say that if you like shoot-'em-ups and/or are from New England, you will appreciate this movie and take something away from it. I took away something as well: the renewed sense of gratification that I don't live in a city that is dominated by organized crime.

On Friday IS2 and I headed up to the Big D for some Brazilian steakhouse goodness at Texas de Brazil. We stuffed ourselves with carnal goodness like garlic sirloin, bacon-wrapped fillets, flank steak and a tasty tenderloin until we could no longer partake. We also each had a caipirinha, known as the "Brazilian mojito." There's no mint in the caipirinha, and it is made with cachaca, a Brazilian liquor made from distilled sugarcane. The liquor itself tasted like a rum-whiskey hybrid to me and it took us about two hours to drink the 5-ounce drinks they were so strong. We also tried some of their salad bar's sushi options, which were surprisingly good for a steakhouse, with well-framed Philly rolls made with real crab and just the right amount of cream cheese.



When we arrived back at Hood, we had little idea what we were in for -- KillaPete's eight (yes, I counted twice for accuracy) family members in from the Bronx for one last hurrah before his deployment. We spent the rest of the night enjoying the Mets/Cardinals game, some bloody UFC fights, and then the commemorative shot of Jack Daniels prior to deployment, where one of KillaPete's aunts instilled the new tradition of singing a verse of a song prior to taking the shot. This having been the first time I've taken a bottle of whiskey and passed it around while singing showtunes, I have to say it was a great time. There are some great pictures captured from the other night. I also got some terrific footage on my digivid so you can all look forward to my newest video soon to be released. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry and it will definitely make you want to have a few shots of whiskey.

I wanted to get a somewhat daecent post in here prior to my departure this weekend and before my show starts at 9 PM (that's right, my show) so I decided to sit down with my fruit salad compote -- consisting of raspberries, pre-chopped pineapple, and del.ic.ious strawberries proving that you can get really good fruit at HEB when you need to -- and hammer out some words before 9 PM CST rolls around.

I have several talking points I want to touch upon and I will apologize in advance that they aren't very organized.

Anticonvulsant = AntiEverythingElse

I picked up my prescription for Lyrica tonight, as I was on a sample that they gave me at the doctor's office for the last 2 weeks. I should have tried to weasel more samples out of them!!! One month's worth of Lyrica (90 ct., 75 mg each) costs $160! With insurance! Excuuuseeeeee me? That's like...digital cable! Or sixty gallons of gas! Or a couple dinners out! My back is turning into a costly venture and I'm about fed up with it. I could just take vicodin for the rest of my life at $5 a month and be just as good. Minus that whole codeine dependancy thing...

I have 2 more refills left which I am considering selling on the side since everyone says it's like taking E if taken in higher doses. So, call me if you're interested.

Project Runway

Should I be embarrassed that I just started to love this show? Or just disappointed that there are only 2 episodes left. Whatever the case, I'm superpsyched to see how it all plays out. My greatest fear is that Jeffery might win due to the mere fact that I am now addicted to a reality show in which I have a favorite and the gods will try to strike me down by having my least favorite win. I spent some time today on Tim Gunn's blog about PR and it was fascinating reading, not just his writing, but the comments sections at the end (oh to be a blogger and have 456 comments!). Tim Gunn is such an interesting creature. The reunion episode had a great little mix of all the five-dollar words he uses and how the cast members respond with blank stares. I hope Tim Gunn has a pet and that I get to relocate it someday. I bet if he does have a dog it's a Miniature Schnauzer or something grey and lean.

NaNoWriMonkeys

There is much debate on my blogger-friends' pages regarding NaNo this year. In order to understand this rebuttal, you will first need to go here and at least read a few paragraphs. From there you will need to go to 1/2's entry, and read the extended version.

I can't help but feel somewhat offended by both of their stances on NaNoWriMo. There are many reasons why I should feel offended, but the main one is this: as 1/2 admits, their decisions to read into (pun intended) the meanings of writing for NaNo is like trying to read into Bush's administration. It is futile. The spirit of NaNo is for people -- not writers, mind you, but real people -- to commune together and dedicate themselves to one cause. There are no legitimate awards, other than the reward of completing your novel. The idea that one should now have to outline, research and prune their writing might as well be swimming against the tide. You have all year to be a fabulous writer but how often do you get to join people from all walks of life writing for the hell of it. Their stances on NaNo seem to imply that NaNo is just a form of verbal masturbation, whereas I see it as being a living, breathing form of art a culture coming together.

If you want to get philosophical on me though, the lets go. What if one of the expected 75,000 Nano'ers actually comes up with something decent? I pose the question inspired by the theorem below:

The infinite monkey theorem states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type or create a particular chosen text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare. Note that "almost surely" in this context is a mathematical term with a specific meaning, and that the "monkey" is not an actual monkey; rather, it is a vivid metaphor for an abstract device that produces a large, random sequence of letters. - Wikipedia (link above)

The key thought here is this: those monkeys are not outlining their novel and planning juicy characters. There is a randomness that appeals to me (and perhaps with myself I can include the general public) in NaNo. I'm not sitting down to write that novel I've always wanted about the horse industry -- no, that would be too long and tedious. I'm not researching something for the sake of writing about it in November. I am going to sit down on 11/01/06 and begin to write what I feel and what I think.

My 50,000 words last year were just that -- words. But they strung together coherently and inspired me and made me feel like this year I can again meet my goal. I haven't touched those words since, and don't know if I ever will, but at least this year, I can create more words.

My NaNo this year will surely be yet another catharsis. And honestly, I'm looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to the moment where you hit that downhill point and the words run on their own and you experience something quite like a runner's high. I say go ahead everyone! Start pounding on that keyboard.

One of us might just end up being the right monkey.

Joining the list of People Who Are Cool But Leave To Live/Work/Fight Wars Somewhere Other Than Texas is M@, a former coworker of mine, or should I say cohort?

Always on the cutting edge of the newest Diesel jeans design, anticlimactic Mentos & Diet Coke experiments and Flickr betas, M@ was the first person who told me about Firefox Mozilla and the first person I scoffed at saying "What's wrong with Internet Explorer?"

I know. I was that bad.

Nevertheless, M@ and his biz school pizzos are working on a new blog in the hopes of becoming famous (unlike me, I just have YouTube videos for that).

Check it out and give the guy some tips, comments, you know, some general blog love.

Mixed Business

P.S. Yes, M@: this is a blantant call for a shoutout on your blog, as I need to expand my LA area readership, as I reign in the North East and the Midwest, but only have you and Shirikins out there in the golden state.

Today was a whirlwind of a day. Tomorrow I get my 3rd and final injection for the year and will be a drooling idiot for at least 1/2 of the day. They don't let you drive, so I will be chauffeured with mi madre to and from the Pain Institute. Good times. This time I will try to scan the photo of my back being punctured with a long needle and shot with a dyed steriod and put it up here on Life's Short. Ah. So appropriate.

But where there are clouds...I got my confirmation for my Red Cross of Central Texas volunteer plans today. I am looking into helping in 2 categories: either with the Armed Forces Emergency Services or the newer pet evac services they are working on. We shall see what prevails.

In other news, the Texas Gubernatorial Debates aired Friday and I did not want to miss my chance to say "HURRAH!" to Chris Bell on yet another successful showing. I'll say it again -- I really want him to win. I encourage everyone to take a moment and check out at least the first 5 minutes of the full debate on this link.
Those of you who aren't from Texas need to go check out our 4 candidates. You can see what a bru-ha-ha it is turning into. Chris Bell is the (D), Rick Perry is the incumbent (R), hoping for his 3rd term (right?) as gub'ner since Bush went on to bigger and better things (rather than wreaking havoc on just Texas he just set his sights on ruining the country, sorry guys but I didn't vote for him). Then we have Kinky (yes, Kinky) Friedman and Carole Keeton Strayhorn (I don't even care if that's not spelled right), our two independent morons. I don't even need to explain to you how stupid Kinky is -- just watch the first five minutes. He is a local celeb/comedian/writer, known for the fact that he's a Jewish cowboy. Despite the fact that Shirikins and I collected his campaign manager back in June at my apartment complex pool (the man lives in corporate housing in my apartment complex, shocking I know), I don't want Kinky to win any more than I want Perry to win. Both are assholes. Then we have Strayhorn who is the biggest idiot of them all. If you make it through the 1 hour video of the debate, you will see that she doesn't know the answer to 2 questions: 1) Who is the current president of Mexico?(Felipe Calderón)? 2) How long do unemployment benefits extend in Texas (26 weeks)? Now I'm not saying you have to be a genius but dios mios, get some huevos.
So - my fellow Texans - please vote and vote smart this time around! Bell is amazing. Main point being: he's smart, not affiliated with Bush and he pushed the rock that started the avalanche that buried DeLay. Can't we give a man some props for that?
I just finished reading Primary Colors, so I'm feeling a bit patriotic myself. Interesting book that falls apart at the end in credibility. I was enjoying the Bill Clinton show up until the last 2 chapters. However, I am looking forward to renting that movie and seeing the differences. I know I'm a bit behind the curve but next up is Life of Pi. I hear it's good and it's sitting in my bookshelf so why the hell not.

Annnnnd...for your NaNoWriMo update of the day!! I got this in my inbox from my local group leader. Almost makes me want to get involved in the Austin group. Almost. But, hanging about a bunch of lessies in coffee shops might push me past the point of depression in November so I'll keep the noveling a solo thang for now. (With the exception of you, JHann, who will always and forever be my editor, my friend, my publisher!)

Yippee, ti-yi-yay! It’s time for the roundup!

We’re mighty pleased y’all are affiliated with Austin. Whether you’re planted here in Central Texas, or just passin’ through, the Austin Wrimos invite you to stop by our forums and see what we’re up to. We’re going to have a great year, with some tried and true favorites and some brand new adventures.

We’ll have a Kick-off, an easy-going gathering where we’ll meet other wrimos, talk about our novels, and pick up some nifty loot. The Kick-off is open to anyone signed up to do NaNoWriMo. It will be EITHER Sunday, October 29th OR Tuesday, October 31st from 7-9 p.m. If you are in the Central Texas area, and IF you honestly plan on attending, you can vote for the night you’d like on the Austin forum at NaNoWriMo.org. Polls close this Wednesday at 11:30 p.m.

Midnight write: On October 31st, starting at 11:30 p.m., we’ll count down and start writing the first mili-second of November! We’ll be at an all-night coffee shop (or other appropriate venue) where we can keep the coffee coming!

Weekly write-ins: We’ll have plenty of opportunities to write and chat with other wrimos at local coffee shops. Last year, there were only two days in November when there wasn’t a write-in scheduled somewhere in the greater Austin area.

Thank Goodness It’s Over: We’re planning a party for Saturday, December 2, where we’ll get together and celebrate our achievements. This will be a chance to let our hair down and relax after a frantic month. We'll have the option of providing a portion of our novels for others to read, or to read aloud to the group.

You’ve come to an amazingly prolific and supportive group. Last year, the Austin region was third in the world in number of words written. We had 97 winners and we had a blast!

We’ve got some special events planned:
* A group trip to the animated movie, “Happy Feet”
* BriNoWriMo, a brunch write-in the day after Thanksgiving, followed by the famous and fabulous Pie Party
* A publication contest sponsored by the Austin Writer’s Block writing group
* A local adopt a newbie program
* Special write-ins where parents can bring children along
* And more!

Wal, guess I’ll mosey along now. Hope to see you somewhere along the trail.
lazym

This was a 3-day weekend for me, having Friday off for meeting our quota for September. This allowed me to have dinner Friday night with IS2 and his dad who was in town to hail and farewell, so we went to the Tawain Dragon in Killa'een. His dad was able to tell us about his recent trip to Holland where he was able to jump paratrooper-style in Arnhem. Sounded and looked from the pictures to be a pretty hardcore vacay -- let's just say that I have never been on a vacation where the patrons around me compound fractured their leg, dislocated their shoulderblade and broke their ankle all in the same 7 day span.
Nevertheless, looked like a good time for those who weren't hobbling around on crutches.

Saturday night, last night, we all met at the Hula Hut for dinner with my parents. It wasn't too terrible and the weather was surprsingly nice (managed to drop down to the mid-seventies so no one was fried alive).

Not much else going on. I have a rather spotty week at work coming up, as I'll only be there 2.5 days. Monday I have to leave early in preparation for my injection Tuesday morning. Then on Friday I have another 3-day weekend, and IS2 and I are headed to Dallas for some Brazillian steakhouse revelries. "Vamos al Hyatt!"

I don't like to air my dirty laundry on here too often, I really don't. But the thing is: I have to. There aren't many places that allow me to express the entirety of my thoughts and since I'm not a rapper or a songwriter or an artist, this open-forum, Readers Digest-esque blog will just have to be my venue until I teach myself a new, more ambiguous craft.

I have this friend. Luckily, she doesn't read my blog (or I don't think she does and if she does, well, problem solved -- my friend, keep reading). I will give a brief background of our history just to get some of my readers up to speed.

I have known her since 6th grade. We met in October, just before Halloween. I was still new to my school and fighting hard to make friends -- no, scratch that, I just wanted to make a friend. I had sat down at what I liked to call the Stragglers Table, where an eclectic group of Not-Goth-Enough-To-Sit-At-The-Goth-Table, I-Just-Want-To-Swim-With-Dolphins, and Once-I-Get-These-Braces-Off-I’ll-Be-Gorgeous-But-For-Now-I-Just-Have-Low-Self-Esteem girls would collect daily during the lunch hour. I noticed one girl sitting in a long baggy tan shirt with a repeating watercolor turtle pattern on it, the line at the bottom of the shirt reading “Uniformity Is Boring.” I almost dismissed her except I caught a sudden flash of silver and realized that she had simple silver earrings in the shape of stirrups. My heart swelled with hope. I had met other girls that rode horses at my new school but all of them were huddled at the Rich Girls table near the front, on the other side of the invisible line that crossed down the prime meridian of the lunch room, a line I dare not cross. I remember asking looking at this girl in her tan shirt and knee-length denim shorts, “Do you ride horses?” All she had to say was “Yes.” From there, we were fast friends, immediately seeing ourselves in the other. We spent three years of our life thinking of horses night and day, able to commune over lunch about the newest piece of tack or the new horse we had ridden in our lesson that week. It was an indulgent relationship – not because we lived in excess, but because we dreamed in it. We fed off of each other’s strong desire to be surrounded by horses and created an imaginary world where our equestrian aspirations all came true.

In high school, like a light switching off, our relationship struggled. Some still knew us as “the horse girls,” but the world in which we now lived was different and that affected the world in our dreams. We no longer could run around like imaginary horses during the last fifteen minutes of our lunch hour – we had reputations to uphold. We made friends with new faces coming from different schools. Probably a significant change was that we joined the track team, a risky move after spending 3 years in the doldrums of P.E. class. Now we were part of a different crowd – we wore our warm-ups on Fridays and hung out at track meets. Our personas were such that we wanted to break free from our imaginary world and wake up to the wonders of the real one around us. We had bigger things to deal with, like shopping for clothes, running fast enough to stay ahead of the shot-put girls and trying to recreate our high-school selves.

We grew apart during the second semester of high school, lost touch with one another over that summer, and the fault line continued to shake as we went into our tenth grade year. We were divided by our own separate alliances – she ran cross-country while I did off-season track. I was a sprinter, she did long-distance. I became friends with a different group of girls, girls that had parties and talked about boys. She braided her hair down the sides tied with ribbons in our school’s colors and drank protein shakes with the rest of the tow-the-line cross-country girls. If you had asked me in 6^th grade what I thought would drive us apart, I have said anything but our friends or our chosen athletic sports.

Somehow it happened, like every other friendship that fades, but it happened in a strange, foreign way. I realized this my last year of high school, when I realized that I wanted to go back to my imaginary world. I wanted out of the Jeep-driving, football-game existence I had created for myself. Her new world never left her – in fact, it consumed her. She pushed herself into a new world of eating disorders and two-a-day 4-mile runs. She existed for a new passion – running. Like the fantasy horses we wrote stories about, running took her away from whatever misery she was nursing.

We became acquaintances and a girl whose mind I could once read was now so hidden I couldn’t even find my way there. We were like opposite ends of a magnet, never wanting to get too close because we knew how strongly we had once been bonded. I missed out on many parts of her life and she missed out on mine. Our conversations became decisively distant.

Over the years since we left high school, we have kept up with one another with the feel of keeping up with a distant family member. Sometimes we don’t speak for months but for a long time that was okay. We always managed to get back together, have a few laughs and reminisce on the silliness of our teenage years. The outrageous concept that either of those worlds – real or imagined – would ever last. Eventually, track meets end and so do horse shows. The reality becomes the acceptance of that, the understanding of it and accepting that as okay. And for so long, I believed we both had.

She still runs, like I still ride horses (um...rather…like I used to ride horses), but she wasn’t obsessed with it. She’s a healthier weight, or looks to be. But now she has found a new obsession, and through all of what she’s had, this has to be the most delicate, sensitive addiction of all: she has become infatuated with God.

Going to church? Fine. Strong religious opinions? Not my thing, but go right ahead. But an outright obsession that leaves you preaching to me about how I should pray to salvation? I can’t deal with that.

I have no desire to pray for salvation. Let the chips fall where they may but I’m not going to do it. And whether I am or am not is not what is at issue here. I cannot be a friend to someone who is selling God. I feel like I have signed up on a mailing list for redemption. Since our last get together, she has called me multiple times telling me she has “something” for me. My guess is that it’s a cross. I receive emails about her bible study. When did I say I wanted to be on the “Girl X Gets Saved By God” mailing list?

I bring this to Life’s Short not only because I want to get my thoughts down on paper about this. I bring this to you all, my readers, for help. I need it on this one. What do you do when someone you love finds Jesus? And when that happens, how do you gently explain to them that constant preaching is not what you want from a friend.

I just don’t understand how you pick the needles out of the flesh on this one without hurting someone.

I'm not really into the idea of sleeping tonight.
I'm thinking too much to sleep. I haven't really been able to stop thinking today. Maybe the Lyrica has worn off.
Blurred vision so far seems to be one of the main side-effects of my meds. Doesn't really make for a good time when staring at a computer. And yet I continue to do so.

I plan on doing a weekend trip every 3 months for the next year. Doesn't matter where...or rather, I just want to go somewhere and see some new things, do something different. Every quarter I will use my commission check to take me somewhere new, give me something to do.

So, everyone. I've got til January 1 to figure something out. Thoughts? I am putting myself up for someone's New Year's Eve companion. I might even kiss you on the cheek at midnight. Takers?

If you don't reserve me for NYE, I've got many more options.

March 1, 2007 I will be doing (hopefully) my overseas trip. This will count for April.

So that leaves -- end of June, 2007. I think Chrisy has got me reserved for our City Slickers trip through Yosemite at the end of June.

October, 2007. I know, I'm thinking rather far in advance, however this is the best way to do this. Think of years as small tiny minute chunks of time that you wouldn't even feel under your feet. A year is just crumbs melding together on the kitchen floor. And I will sweep this one away with ease.

The worst thing that could have happened...has. Just when you think you're safe -- just when you think you've got all your profile blocks in a row, all your HTML correct on your Myspace -- Facebook opens its doors to the nation. Scary? Yes. Outrageous? Yes. Did I sign up? Well...of course.

I have had mixed emotions about Facebook ever since I heard about it two years ago. During my reunion planning (elementary, that is), my good friend since 3rd grade said "Why don't you just look them up on Facebook?"
I sputtered back a "Wha...?" and Noah explained to me that there was this mysterious e-fraternity that everyone could join...as long as you had a "edu" address.
Ah. There's the rub.
Another slap in the face from the .edu-minded world, a world where an .edu could get you hired or fired (you know your boss is checking out your online profiles), and that degree in Humanities becomes less important than the photo album containing semi-nude photos or crazy pictures from last year's keggers.
It seems only fitting that Facebook would find a way to stay exclusive, or to use their terminology "closely networked." All smoke and mirrors.
Networking. What a bunch of crap. I'd like to find one person who networked their way to success on Facebook. If you're out there, let me know it.

Anyway - I digress. I'm actually trying to make a case for why I now have a profile and am obsessively getting it "dressed."
The thing is -- as much as I despise the foundation of Facebook, I also have to take a moment and remind myself that Facebook saw the light and realized their error. So I will partake, for now.

Just don't expect to see me anytime soon - I plan on diving into a month's worth of Facebook research.