I then went and got my incredible shrinking dad a shirt for his upcoming birthday. Seriously, my dad looks tinier every time I see him. I used to buy him mediums in the men's department. Last night I found a dusty blue short-sleeved button down, 100% cotton seersucker. However, when I found the small and held it up, it still looked huge. I even had to ask the woman who worked at the register if I was accidentally buying a big & tall item. She must have weighed 300 pounds, so this was a bit of an awkward question. She assured me it was not. It just looked way to big (and tall) to fit my dad. He's shorter than me! Alas I'm giving it to him tonight so we'll see if it fits.
There is nothing else to report to the masses. Denial is a many-splendored thing.