Halves of Wholes
I'm so terribly embarrassed that I suck so much at life that I have failed everyone at NaBlo and NaNo this year. I will offer no excuses...just know that I do feel bad for neglecting both of these creative (failed) endeavors.
But -- as my boss is known to say -- "No matter what happens this week, it's only 2.5 days long."
That's right, my .5 and 1/2-loving friends, Wednesday is a half day at our office. Now all of you (and there are a few of you) who have been telling me about your Friday half days can be happy on Wednesday in knowing that I too will be leaving at noon.
Warning: Sister Rant Ahead.
My sister called me last night and we discussed our usual favorite topic: our parent's divorce. We like to discuss the different scenarios like whose house we should gather at on Christmas Day and the like. We are only spoiled in our complacency with having had married parents for the duration of our lives. So this is a big deal, especially to my sister I think because she is going to have to seek some sort of solace somewhere when she comes here and apparently Chez Chubby Charles isn't good enough.
Anyway. Last night here are some quotes from our conversations:
Goldie: "I won't be able to take two things about this divorce."
Rachel: "What's that?" (it was more like a mumbled "mmfph" to use "Baby-Sitter's Club-speak")
G: "One - if dad doesn't get his own health insurance..." She went on about the importance of health insurance for a while. To which I responded:
R: "mmfph."
G: "Two - if dad gets remarried and has a little girl and names it, like, Kaitlyn or Kylie or something. I just won't be able to take that."
R: "What if he had a boy and named it Benjamin?"
G: "I can't even think about that."
It was weird to think about the prospect of obtaining a 1/2 or .5 sibling, a development I hadn't even entertained prior to the conversation with my sister. Then, Goldie interrupted the silence with:
G: "I diagnosed someone with herpes today."
R: This time my "mmfph" was more of a "mmfph-ha!"
G: "Yeah it was really sad."
R: "Gross."
G: "Have you started watching Gilmore Girls like I told you to?"
R: "No. And I won't be any time soon. The last commercial I saw was showing the older chick in Paris getting engaged."
G: "It's really good."
R: "It doesn't matter I won't be watching it. Ever."
G: "The Rachel Ray show is really good too."
R: OUTRAGED - "WHAT?! I'm hanging up. Really, right now, I'm hanging up on you--"
G: "No! It's good, it's funny--"
R: "I don't care, there are many things that are offensive about that! One - you know I hate hate hate Rachel Ray and all things Food Network...Two - it implies that I would be at home at 3:30 in the afternoon and those of us who have jobs aren't exactly sitting around eating cookies watching Rachel Ray and Oprah after school still."
G: "It's funny! It comes on in the mornings here..."
R: "At what time?"
G: "Well, nine..."
R: "Okay, people start working at nine."
The conversation ended with my sister saying "The next time I call you, you better answer your phone, you never answer when I call." We had a dispute over this momentarily and then said goodbye.
Tonight I was getting some paper towels after work and my phone rang. Goldie. So I answered.
G: "Hey! Have you looked at all of _Our Childhood Friend Who Doesn't Read This Blog_'s pictures on Facebook?"
R: "I answered the phone for this?"
Well, I suppose there's not much more to say. I am headed off to the beach on Thursday morning. I'm hoping that I'm not getting sick. Nothing a "Port Aransas" (malibu rum & coke) can't fix.
But -- as my boss is known to say -- "No matter what happens this week, it's only 2.5 days long."
That's right, my .5 and 1/2-loving friends, Wednesday is a half day at our office. Now all of you (and there are a few of you) who have been telling me about your Friday half days can be happy on Wednesday in knowing that I too will be leaving at noon.
Warning: Sister Rant Ahead.
My sister called me last night and we discussed our usual favorite topic: our parent's divorce. We like to discuss the different scenarios like whose house we should gather at on Christmas Day and the like. We are only spoiled in our complacency with having had married parents for the duration of our lives. So this is a big deal, especially to my sister I think because she is going to have to seek some sort of solace somewhere when she comes here and apparently Chez Chubby Charles isn't good enough.
Anyway. Last night here are some quotes from our conversations:
Goldie: "I won't be able to take two things about this divorce."
Rachel: "What's that?" (it was more like a mumbled "mmfph" to use "Baby-Sitter's Club-speak")
G: "One - if dad doesn't get his own health insurance..." She went on about the importance of health insurance for a while. To which I responded:
R: "mmfph."
G: "Two - if dad gets remarried and has a little girl and names it, like, Kaitlyn or Kylie or something. I just won't be able to take that."
R: "What if he had a boy and named it Benjamin?"
G: "I can't even think about that."
It was weird to think about the prospect of obtaining a 1/2 or .5 sibling, a development I hadn't even entertained prior to the conversation with my sister. Then, Goldie interrupted the silence with:
G: "I diagnosed someone with herpes today."
R: This time my "mmfph" was more of a "mmfph-ha!"
G: "Yeah it was really sad."
R: "Gross."
G: "Have you started watching Gilmore Girls like I told you to?"
R: "No. And I won't be any time soon. The last commercial I saw was showing the older chick in Paris getting engaged."
G: "It's really good."
R: "It doesn't matter I won't be watching it. Ever."
G: "The Rachel Ray show is really good too."
R: OUTRAGED - "WHAT?! I'm hanging up. Really, right now, I'm hanging up on you--"
G: "No! It's good, it's funny--"
R: "I don't care, there are many things that are offensive about that! One - you know I hate hate hate Rachel Ray and all things Food Network...Two - it implies that I would be at home at 3:30 in the afternoon and those of us who have jobs aren't exactly sitting around eating cookies watching Rachel Ray and Oprah after school still."
G: "It's funny! It comes on in the mornings here..."
R: "At what time?"
G: "Well, nine..."
R: "Okay, people start working at nine."
The conversation ended with my sister saying "The next time I call you, you better answer your phone, you never answer when I call." We had a dispute over this momentarily and then said goodbye.
Tonight I was getting some paper towels after work and my phone rang. Goldie. So I answered.
G: "Hey! Have you looked at all of _Our Childhood Friend Who Doesn't Read This Blog_'s pictures on Facebook?"
R: "I answered the phone for this?"
Well, I suppose there's not much more to say. I am headed off to the beach on Thursday morning. I'm hoping that I'm not getting sick. Nothing a "Port Aransas" (malibu rum & coke) can't fix.
Labels:
sisters
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"I hate hate hate...all things Food Network..."
I may have to remove you from my blogroll for this.
-1/2
Also if it makes you feel any better, I didn't do NaNo this year. I'm not going to say I failed, because I didn't try.
-1/2
I'm not sure if sister rant is what you should title our telephone dialogue rearranged at your whimsy. And just for the record, I shuttle myself to Fall River, Ma. every morning at 7:30, and prior to that I was waking up for surg at 4:45, but on the one day that I was able to catch RR's show at 9, I really enjoyed her tips on entertaining. And, I asked if I could join you and Chubby Charles, so I'm not sure why that would be too good for me...Besos.
Question 1: What is the difference between Michael and 1/2? Are you different people?
Question 2: Goldie, don't you understand that controversy and rants are what makes blogs famous? Why don't you hurry up and publish your blog so you can set the record straight?
No, we're the same. For some reason sometimes I'm logged into blogger (got an account so I could comment on people's blogs with member-only comment access) so I just let it go through as "michael" even though nobody calls me that but my family and the occasional acquaintance.
-1/2