Finally! I am officially on vacation. SWEET! I went to Weather.Wrong (that's what I call Weather.Com, since it has completely been wrong twice when I've had to go out of town for 2 weeks at a time to horse shows and either brought no warm clothes and froze my ass off or in the other case had no hot weather clothes and nearly died of heatstroke) and apparently it's going to be cold and rainy all weekend. Whatever. At this point you could be sending me to Antarctica and I'd be happy. I am ready to have some fun.
Last night I went out on another date with Mr.X. Definitely the best one so far. He's growing on me. It was probably the first time I actually got to talk to him one on one when I wasn't having to scream over a bunch of noise.
Before Iwent to dinner Martha and I had been plotting my costume for the partay. I think I am going to be, hahahaha, a prostitute. Okay. Let me explain. Martha is going to be a cop, and she wanted to do something where our costumes could correlate somewhat. So we thought I could be a robber. We went to the Party Pig to brainstorm and this totally gay guy comes over and is like "Can I help you?" We told him our problem, and he kind of looked me once over and goes "Okay well forgive me for saying this...but you could be a prostitute." Why didn't we think of that?! Now it's just a matter of scrounging up some skanky clothes and buying a pair of fishnets and giving myself a black eye (Martha will have brutalized me).
Today I did Phase II of my big garden at work. SUPERPSYCHED about it. It already looks fantastic. I planted a couple of sage bushes, some tall purple fountain grass, some succulent ground cover, and then we're going to cover the whole berm in winter rye. It is going to look amazing when I'm done. The guys and I were out there working away and now I am beat!
This morning was nice because I got to work, didn't have any customers to call back so I was like Woah--what to do? Usually my first hour is spent on the phone. So I went and got on Merlot and schooled her over the course down in the lower ring. It was so nice out this morning and I was able to equitate a little bit on her since I hadn't done that in a while and even my rusty eye could see a distance from 5 strides back on her.
Matt also killed a rattlesnake at work today. Actually one of the homeowners found it on their porch and he went and killed it. He's going to skin it and thoroughly scared the crap out of me by shaking it in my direction.
I am going to my friend Jennifer's erotic art opening tonight at Gallery Lombardi. She doesn't usually do this type of stuff but we'll see what happens. I of course invited as many male friends as I could since it advertised body painting (and if you haven't seen it, you should...pretty freaking pheonomenal). I think I have a few takers and my friend Christina is going to come with me for moral support. We may end up going downtown tonight but seeing as I have to be leaving for the airport at 5 AM that may not happen (although it's never stopped me in the past...).
Anyway, this will be the final installment until I get back from NYC! Have a great weeekend!

Yes, let it never be said that I am not the queen of landscaping. I got out there with a rake and raked up some leaves underneath the former thicket that is now actually a grove of small trees and chinaberries. Then Gerardo came over and helped me deposit the leaves and chunks of concrete into the bucket of the Kubota.

I actually slept well last night! Which is to say, I actually fell asleep prior to midnight last night. It could have had something to do with the fact that I had 2 daquiris laden with rum in the few hours leading up to my bedtime but...I'll take what I can get at this point.
Today was great. The weather has been cooperating lately so being outside is actually a pleasant experience. The Patron took us all to lunch today (that is, Matt, Cindy and me) at Mulligan's, this joint in Lakeway where I had been only once before with Matt. When Matt and I went before, our entire meal was consumed by the episode of "My Super Sweet Sixteen" which involved the rapper C-Lo's daughter turning 16 and having all sorts of excess at her party. This trip to Mulligan's was a bit more subdued, but I was able to doublecheck the weather in NYC and El Patron recapped an episode of 20/20 that apparently aired last night about germs in bathrooms. If you are interested in what we learned at lunch regarding toilet seats and germs, I invite you to click on the above link. But a free lunch is a free lunch (even though they say there is no such thing) and it was a good break from the ordinary.
What else. I went and picked up Scarlett from the vet this afternoon. She actually was walking fairly sound on her hind leg which I was glad to see. I was not glad to see how much weight she had lost in 4 days. She looked like she just got off the track, all drawn up and skinny. Anyway, she'll get it back. They sent me home with enough supplies to keep changing the bandage on her for the next 7 days at which point she will go back to the vet. Hopefully until then the sutures will stay in. She is also on Tucoprim, which is probably my favorite equine antibiotic out there right now. It is definitely the easiest to administer (comes in a powder form that you can just dump in their feed) and has the shortest duration for how long you have to feed it (5 days rather than 7-10). So when the owners arrived, I showed them how to do the bandage and told them not to fear, that I would assist again tomorrow (and the next day, and the next...). We are crossing our fingers that the sutures stay in and hopefully she'll be better within the next 2 months.
The rest of the afternoon was spent returning phone calls and getting stuff in line for while I am out of town (grain order, getting some foundation fill dropped off tomorrow, etc.) to keep the guys busy. That's when I decided to go rake up the leaves in the flowerbed I am planning. I'm excited about it. We're going to lay down some new soil over plastic around our thicket and then plant some hearty ground covering. The guys are going to make a little rock wall. It's going to look fantastic, but first I had to clear all the stuff out. That's when Chuy came over and kept saying "Go back to the office, we'll do this!" So then Gerardo and Gavino showed up and started helping out. The funny thing is, those guys are done at 4 and there they were at 5:30 helping me out, even though I kept telling them to go home. I am in love with my employees right now. At last. Some not just decent, but outstanding help.

Anyway. In other news. Today was the first day I have felt okay about everything. It is so weird. Last night all of a sudden it hit me that I could control one aspect of this and it is my emotion. My outlook. And just like that, I felt different. Like someone just flipped a switch. I fell asleep, I got up and went to work and all day...I had to keep stopping and thinking, wow. I don't feel physically in pain. Little things that should make me sad don't. There's still that kind of fondness that I can feel, which I don't mind, but the absolute gut-wrenching sadness of it all has left me. I think that a big part of it was that I didn't want to let that go. And now I realize, I can let go of it and still be okay. It feels really, really good.

So I made the mistake of tuning into the 3+ consecutive hours that MTV is airing Laguna Beach tonight and...wow. It is like watching a train wreck. I cannot take my eyes off of it, but at the same time I am cringing and yelling out "WHAT?!" every 5-10 minutes.
The most ridiculous episode I have seen yet is the one I just watched. Our Last Prom. Or something along those lines. I'm not sure what the name of it was exactly but to summarize:

All these guys are coming up with intricate schemes to ask these girls to
prom. I feel like I'm going to puke until I realize that, oh, wait, they have tons of money and don't mind renting tow trucks/gorilla suits/large amounts of long-stemmed roses in order to pull off their schemes.

Then there was a moment when all the guys show up at someone's house (I haven't gotten the names down yet) and I SWEAR some guy kisses another dude hello. I wished for one small second that I had Tivo to replay that to make sure I wasn't losing my mind. Instead I just said "What?!"

Talan (that's the only name I'm good at, because it makes me think of "Do the chickens have large talons?") is standing next to this woman in jeans taking pictures and I'm like, wait...Kristin is wearing jeans to prom? That's ballsy. No, no--that's his mom. The name "Talan" all becomes clear.

And then of course there's Alex M making out with Jason. That whole pair is bad news. I think the funniest line of the show was the guy getting his hair colored (or chemically straightened or something) saying "How random is Jason's prom date?"

That was the understatement of the year. Cami, you never stood a chance.

And having seen Casey, who drives a very nice Benz, looking like a complete whore in her prom dress, it made me wonder: is that the best money can buy?

Oops. Here we go again. Previously on Laguna Beach...

Monday...ah. There were a couple of things said today which made me pause and think, "What?" I always love those days.

And We're Off!

My day began, right on time, at 7:35 AM when Bad Truck Driver Girl revved up the old Ford and idled until 7:39 AM. I don't know what the heck she does in that truck for those 4 minutes but I am starting to think that it has something to do with the fact that the truck is ancient. Maybe she has to let the engine warm up a little.

Retired People Need To Get Jobs

So I managed to drift back to sleep for a good hour or so, and stumbled out at 9ish. I had a ton of laundry to do today in preparation for my NYC trip. Which is only 3 days away! I am excited to be going to NYC but even more excited to only have to work 3 days this week. Ahhhhh...
The day was just too beautiful to pass up so I went and picked up Gus and took him down to Town Lake. We had a very pleasant 3 miles, he got to do some swimming and I lucked out and didn't run into anyone I know.
I was nearing the end of the run when hell broke loose. If you have ever been on the trail, you will understand this next part: there is a big field to the left if you are heading west (counterclockwise) on the trail as you near the Mopac bridge. The field is not a soccer field, not a parking lot, not a park...it's just this extra piece of land that they sometimes let overflow parking go into and where they grind up the Christmas trees every year. Those are the only uses I have ever seen for that field. Also, well-meaning people like myself will walk along the field toward the Mopac bridge and let their dog(s) off the leash and let them run around out there.
I decide to let my aging, 9 year old dog off the leash and he goes piddling out towards the middle of the field. Meanwhile, I am walking along the edge of the field by the trail, watching my dog who is a good 500 feet away.
I had already noticed this elderly couple wandering along the trail, and they were about 100 yards and closing. Gus is miles away, I am out of these old people's way, just walking on the grass. As I pass this old woman and her husband (they were probably in their late 50's, early 60's), the woman (who resembles a liberal Glen Close) says:
"Leash law here, hon."
Now. I could understand if I had been on the trail and my dog was loose. I could also understand if she hadn't seen me take my leash off my dog and let him go in the opposite direction of her. But she witnessed the fact that prior to that, I had been on the trail with my dog on a leash. So she knew I wasn't a total fool.
"What?" I didn't know what else to say.
"There's a leash law here."
"Everyone lets their dogs off over here."
"Well they're not supposed to."
I was pissed. Here I am, enjoying my day, and this woman sticks her nose into my shit. And you know what? I can take that from people at work but when you aren't my customer, watch out.
"Well, you're a bitch, why aren't you on a leash?"
Her pansy ass husband was silent the whole time.
Ha! She got so red and I have to admit I was pretty heated myself. She just turned and they walked off.
And my leash-free dog and I continued our day.

At Least Someone Likes Them

The other noteworthy part of my day was that I went to Freebird's to get dinner tonight. Freebird's is the original version of Chipotle. I was having my dinner made and the guy was asking me the usual questions:
"What type of meat?"
"Chicken."
"Light or dark?"
"Light."
"This may be kind of rude but...what color are your eyes?"
"What?"
Yeah. What?
"What color are your eyes?"
"Oh.--Uh, green." I'm thinking, Do I get some kind of prize for this?
"Really? Because they look almost hazel-green."
"Huh. Yeah. I've always considered them to be fairly green..."
"Yeah..."
So this other guy is ringing up the order and I'm paying and stuff and the Eye Guy comes over and hands me my burrito and is like "Well, they're really beautiful."
"Oh! Thanks!"
I mean...I didn't think I was really working the look with my running shorts and a t-shirt and my hair every which way. But apparently my hazel-green eyes were still rockin'.
Kind of funny. I think that he the first guy who has ever commented on my eyes. Here's to you, Freebirds guy!

More NYC Ramblings

I am trying to figure out what entertaining things I can do while I am in NYC. I think we are going to go see The Light in the Piazza in Lincoln Center on Saturday night. Friday night we are having dinner with the Tedeschi's, and Sunday night we are having dinner with my Great-Uncle George and his wife Beverly. Jennie my Cambridge, MA-English-class-partner-in-crime is going to meet up with us Friday and Saturday night for some NYC partying. Grace has got some former Brown alum connections lined up to lead the way in that department.
If anyone has any tips/leads/places to run into Matt Damon in regards to my trip to NYC, kindly let me know.

Flick Off

I updated my Flickr photos today. Lots of fun that was, going through a bunch of photos on my parent's computer. There were like 39 pictures entitled "Garden - April 04" and 18 "N1733CP Wing/Prop Photos." Yeah. They're exciting. But my Flickr is looking better.

The Chinese believe crickets are good luck.
After writing about crickets I just now went into my kitchen and found that I have one of my very own.
A sign from God?
Or are there just that many of them...


Please excuse my toe. Or feel free to enjoy it if you have a foot fetish.

SO: The question is this:
How do you know things went drastically wrong downtown? When you get pushed into a drunken UT frat boy at Fuel who instantly grabs your face and tries to kiss you so you leave angrily in an effort to escape and then when the night ends with a minor getting her brother's girlfriend's ID getting confiscated at Maggie Mae's and then I am forced to call Jamie #4289, my former cop fling, in a valiant effort to get the ID back. Valiant, well-intentioned, but futile. Jamie, alas, was not working downtown last night. Thankfully. That could have gotten a bit hairy.

When we realized at about 9:45 last night that the males milling around our apartment outnumbered the females about 4 to 1, we decided that the Bardines idea had to be scrapped. My friend Noah whom I've known since 3rd grade and currently is a Tulane-evacuee made a rare appearance and then we promptly lost him and his friends when we got downtown.
The crew ended up being Martha, Bill, John, Brett, Amy and myself. Wes was kind enough to haul us down to 6th Street. I spent about 20 minutes telling Amy not to worry about getting busted on her ID. It was a legit ID, the problem was that the girl looked (to quote the bouncer at Maggie Mae's) "nothing like her." But honestly we all thought she could get away with it.
Not so. The Library went well. No problems there. I enjoyed a hearty amount of LIT's and then we moved on to Fuel. Why, I don't know. In my mind I thought "Oh! Fuel!" I used to hate Fuel but I had since changed my opinion of it, but then when we went back last night I realized why I hated it in the past. There are tons of creeps hanging around in that place and unless you go there with some other guy, you get completely violated everywhere you turn. So we decided to go to Maggie Mae's which was the fatal error where Amy got denied.

We all headed home, at which point I decided that life had reached its lowest point when someone spilled my water bottle all over the front of me when was sitting next to me where I was racked out on the floor. At the time I couldn't figure out why this was so upsetting but for whatever reason I stood up and said "Peace out" and went to my room. It immediately became clearer when I got in bed, the whole water spilling thing. Of course my drunken mind analyzed the shit out of the entire night and why I was doing okay and when everything took a turn for the worse. I realized why I couldn't stand to be in Fuel a second longer and then realized how unphased I was about talking to Jamie on the phone. I got frustrated because when things with Jamie ended I barely even noticed or cared. I stared at the water bottle and thought about rice paddies and the Mekong and wondered when that kind of shit was going to end. After yet another series of text messages, this time in regards to the ridiculousness of my situation, I resolved to go to sleep while I was still drunk enough to actually fall asleep.
This morning I was rudely--emphasis on the rudely--and abruptly awoken by my phone telling me someone was texting me. 7:35 AM and Mr. X is complaining about having to work on a Sunday. Thanks so much.

There is this noisy diesel truck that for the last couple of weeks has been idling outside my window for a few minutes every morning at around 7:30 AM. The other annoying thing was that it always sounded like there were metal pipes being thrown around whenever the truck was there. They are currently doing some landscaping and have been parking the little Bobcat and flatbed trailer behind my window, so I had previously assumed that the truck belonged to a construction worker.
Wrong.
Today I am laying comatose on my bed watching the movie, and I have my windows open and the blinds up. I hear the truck and wonder why they would be working on a Sunday. I look out the window and see a two-tone red and white F-250, looks like a 1990's version (one of the old school Fords). This truck is trying to pull into a parking spot outside the apartment but apparently the turning radius sucks on it, because the person is backing up and then pulling forward then backing up again. Every time they put it in reverse, it makes this loud clanging noise (which I think is the metal pipes noise I kept hearing). Then the truck is finally parked and it proceeds to just IDLE there for like ten minutes. Completely disturbing my movie.
Then I see this GIRL get out and am even more offended. If I was a guy and saw her try to park that thing, I would laugh. So I'm sitting here just now and she comes back and decides to back into one of the parking spots. After doing like a 15-point turn, she finally gets it pulled in. I thought about going out on the balcony and offering assistance just to get it to shut the hell up. Between the gears making that noise when she puts it in reverse and the damn diesel engine that sounds like it belongs on a Kubota, I wanted to scream.
Okay. I feel better now. I did go take a picture through the trees of the truck. I know, you can barely tell but it made me feel better to document it somehow.

I managed to escape today without any traumas occuring. This after a hellish night's sleep (if you could call it that) last night. I spent about 20 min. and probably $20 in a text messaging conversation with Jason Vegas. Of course his last name is like Smith or something but I call him Jason Vegas because I met him in Vegas and he's in my phone as Jason Vegas and if you make it into my phone with an alias, you will forever be that to me. I.E. April Hairdresser, Bad Brad Hickson, Carly Beers, Corina Ho (the infamous Dallas-prostitute incident), Crazy Person!?, Joey NYC, Latasha Zilker, and...everyone's favorite Matt Fucking Krebsbach.
Yeah. So Jason Vegas lives in Tampa (thankfully) but for whatever reason ever since we hit it off at the blackjack table on Night 2 of our Las Vegas trip, we have kept in touch. When he came to Austin back in June on business, we all went downtown together. He's a nice guy. He was packing for a deep-sea fishing trip last night that he left for today. I started complaining asking deep questions like "Why is it that my cat who is supposedly nocturnal is sound asleep and I am wired?" This was the response I got--I quote:
"Because we continue to indulge ourselves with thoughts of things we cannot change. We worry of past mistakes instead of understanding they are gone and all...
...that is left is how we live tomorrow. We do not hunt for love...It finds us. Find yourself first...Then everything else is like a walk in the park."
His little pep talk helped. I think he is the only person as anal about me when it comes to spelling on text messages rather than just some cryptic slang thrown together.
Finally at about 1:30 AM or so I fell asleep, only to be awakened an hour later by drunken revelers getting in and out of their cars. I had my windows open, so I got distracted listening to this conversation (all being yelled out):
Male voice: ...you could!
Female voice: Yeah I guess I'll think about it then!
Male voice: ...I don't see why...not bad...do?
Female voice: WHEN I WANT TO FUCK YOU IN THE ASS I'LL LET YOU KNOW!
Male voice: OKAY THEN!
Car door slams and car starts up and drives away. Silence at last.

I'm not joking. Up until that point, I was kind of saying to myself Well, this is what I get for all those nights I've come roaring in and talking way too loud.
But I will say to anyone who asks, I have never had an argument surrounding anal sex in the parking lot. And--God willing!--never will.

Work was good today despite the lack of sleep. It was a beautiful day to be outside, and Alexandra and her mom came out and rode this morning and did pretty damn well. Her mom, who is amazingly 58 years old, rides really damn well for her age/level. Alexandra did a good job with her pony this morning, and actually seemed to enjoy herself. Then I spent the rest of the day trying to find the dead mouse that is hiding in my office. I can't remember if I've explained the mouse problem we've been having or not.
Okay, so at least once a year, one morning I will walk in and smell rat piss. There is really nothing else as foul-smelling as that (except for maybe a dead mouse). And then all of a sudden there are little mice turds scattered on every surface of the office. I don't know where the damn things get it in their heads that it's a good idea to occupy the one space in the whole countryside that they shouldn't.
So I went and got a trap from Matt, and set it under the desk, but failed to realize that you have to bait the trap (I'm not a big trap fan but desperate times...). I thought the little yellow holey piece was made to look like cheese so you didn't have to bait it. Needless to say, I didn't manage to catch a mouse, and in fact the next day I'm sitting there and this mouse shoots out from under the desk by my foot. I leap out of the office, screaming, and Chuy comes waddling down the barn to the rescue.
He, Gavino and Gerardo manage to move the entire desk (which has got to weigh like 200 pounds), and they're all saying "No...Raquel, no hay un raton..." TOTALLY don't believe me. Then all of a sudden the mouse darts from the desk into...the open supply closet. Damnit. So it disappears and the next morning I come in and open the closet and it is like 200 mice were having a fiesta overnight in there. It smelled so bad, there was crap everywhere, in other words, DISGUSTING.
I went out and bought all this poison that day and proceeded to put the little bags of poison all inside the desk and in the closet, hoping for the best.
The next morning...this was I guess Thursday morning of this week, I go into the office and Chuy comes hustling in. "Raquel," he says (I'm going to translate for you here), "The mouse is in your trunk." Kelly and I both have these trunks in our barn colors with our initials on them that we keep our stuff in sitting along the wall of our office. They are made out of wood and then have vinyl panels on all sides and cost about $900 each. So I'm like "WHAT?!" Because unless the damn thing chewed through my trunk, there's no way it could get in there...unless...
I had been riding the day before and I keep my half chaps and my helmet in my trunk. While I was riding I had left the top open...so for whatever reason, one of the damn mice had managed to climb inside.
But at this point, I'm still doubtful because Chuy likes to psych me out all the time. I go "Okay okay let's see..." and he proceeds to open my trunk. I'm like "Where is the mouse?" kind of crouched down peering into my trunk. Well, in my trunk there is a little tray where I keep little stuff that is set at the very top. I have a sewing kit that is about 4"x2" sitting in there and it was kind of leaning at an angle set on top of something else.
Chuy goes to move the sewing kit and then all of a sudden the mouse comes FLYING OUT AT MY FACE. Like, total Chevy Chase Christmas stuff going on. I jumped from one end of the office to the other. So Chuy somehow killed the mouse and comes out victoriously carrying it by it's tail and deposits the carcass on the front lawn. Nice.
Things kind of died down for the last few days, I cleaned up all the little pieces of crap they had left everywhere, and today I walked in and almost fell over it smelled so bad. Good news: The poison worked. Bad news: There are dead mice in the office. Somewhere. And it stinks literally.

I digress.
The rest of the day I cleaned up, had the guys prune some of the front trees where this thicket had grown up all around them. It looked so awesome when they were done--the barn looks absolutely fantastic. Bay and I got some hay bales and set little gourds and pumpkins on them on either side of the front entrance in the flowerbeds. I'm really pleased with the direction the barn is going. It just looks awesome. I cannot wait til the winter rye comes up in our lawn areas and in our turnout fields.
C-Lo called this afternoon asking me if I was ever going to finish at work. He and everyone else were down outside Bob Bullock tailgating for the UT game and he wanted me to go down there. I had to decline...honestly I'm so over that whole football-tailgate-football player-scene.
I then got a call from Shirikins, who informed me that she had her first interaction with a celeb in LA last night. She and her new special friend went to this place called the Cat & the Fiddle and she spied a blonde, coked-out Ashlee Simpson making out with some guy. So what does Shiri do? She goes over and hands Ashlee her business card and tells her to come to the VIP opening. Hahahaha...there's balls for you.

Tonight is Bardines. We'll see how that goes down. It may end up just being more of a house-party in which case that's fine with me--I can just nurse my $20 handle of Flor de Cana rum that the guy at the liquor store talked me into purchasing. We'll see how it stands up to Bacardi.

Since I refuse to end an entry with the sentence "We'll see how it stands up to Bacardi," I'm going to place my new favorite quote here:

"A fact is a simple statement that everyone believes. It is innocent, unless found guilty. A hypothesis is a novel suggestion that no one wants to believe. It is guilty, until found effective." - Edward Teller

So today was interesting. I always forget that is is typically better to not be too complacent in my job becase you never know, you just never know, when something is going to go drastically awry.
Today I had one of those moments. I was minding my own business in the office across the street when one of my customers comes rushing in breathlessly saying "Is Rachel in here?" even though I was the only person in the office. I said kind of nonchalantly "I'm right here," and went back to my work, expecting an series of reduntant questions regarding the trivialities of the day.
"Rachel! Kelly wants you! A horse is hurt!" I of course stood up, said "Who?" and started walking across the street to the barn. As we briskly crossed the parking lot, she explained that Scarlett, one of our newer horses I picked up at the beginning of September, had kicked out, cut her foot, and "blood was everywhere." She had asked Kelly what she could do to help and Kelly told her to go get me.
Sure enough, blood was everywhere when I walked up. Scarlett is a dainty chestnut mare that everyone loves. She's young and still somewhat green, but she's got great manners and is fun to ride. We were pleasantly surprised needless to say when we acquired her as a new horse of ours.
Kelly was holding a rag up against Scarlett's front left lower ankle, also known as the "pasten," when I got over there, and a puddle of blood had already formed around her hoof. "She's got to go to the vet," Kelly said. Duh.
I instructed someone to call our vet out in Elgin while I gathered the supplies to do a pressure bandage. A pressure bandage generally consists of thick sheet cotton wrapped smoothly around the leg, then held in place by tightly wrapped Elastikon (think of a disposable Ace bandage with adhesive). You can also put 4x4 sterile gauze pads on the wound directly but the main idea is just a firm, even pressure.
I walked back out of our office and pulled the now completely soaked bloody rag away from her leg. I could see through the massive amounts of blood that she had obviously cut at least one or two arterial branches. The picture to the right shows in red where the cut was, extending along the back of her pastern near the bulb of her heel. If you compare it to the above picture, this is the location of the coronary venous plexus which I later found out is exactly what she managed to slice open. The slice was about 1 1/2 inches deep and about 2 inches wide.
I applied the pressure bandage and then heard from our vet in Elgin that Scarlett was probably better off going to a closer vet if she had cut an arteries in her leg. We were assuming that she had since I was at this point swimming in blood.
So we called Sunset Canyon, which is only 20 minutes away as opposed to and hour and a half away. We haven't been too thrilled with the results we've had with them before, but I didn't want her to lose any more blood. By that time Chuy had hooked up the trailer, I finished my pressure wrap (which I thought looked pretty damn good) and practically pushed her into the trailer.
Despite getting held back for a few minutes on RR 12 where they were doing construction (I actually had to follow a "Pilot Car" down the one lane that they had open at 30mph which drove me crazy), I made it to Sunset Canyon rather quickly.
Dr. Greg Pruitt was the attending, and did a pretty impressive job. They first put her in the stock and knocked her out with Rompum/Dorm or some magic drug that made her pretty woozy.
He also anaesthetized her locally from the ankle down. Then I began to watch the most disgusting display of him digging around and poking and snipping at her flesh. This thing was squirting blood every which way and for a minute I had to walk off. Then I came back and kind of got it through my head that she couldn't feel it anyway.
He started lygating the arteries. He would stick the sterilized scissors in the arteries to plug them up while he worked on the other ones. It was pretty damn stomach-turning. The UPS guy pulled up and came around the corner at one point and saw this giant pool of blood and I thought he was going to faint.
Once he got them all more or less bound off, he came and explained to me that she had cut herself in one of the worst possible places. If you look at the first picture, the artery comes down and then goes into tons of little branches (the coronary venous plexus). She sliced open all of those little branches as well as her lateral and medial digital arteries.
He said that by lygating the arteries, it would form some pressure in there, and then he began stitching up the actual wound which also helped keep the blood loss down. At this point, before he started the stitches for the wound, he had the technician clean up the stocks around her feet. She was standing in blood halfway up her hoof, and it had pooled and started clotting. They literally shoveled her blood up--not just one scoop, but two shovels full of blood. I am guessing she lost from the time she cut herself to the time they got the blood to stop about 2 gallons of blood. Fortunately, that is only about 20% of the blood in her body assuming she weighs about 1000 pounds (horses have on average a gallon of blood per 100 lbs. of body weight).
He applied another pressure bandage at which point he stood up and said, "Did you do the pressure wrap that was on her earlier?" I said "Yeah..." wondering what he was going to say. "You did an excellent job. I don't think I've ever seen as good of a wrap done by someone who wasn't a vet." I told him "Thank you...I'm glad to hear that." "Well I mean it. Really, really good job."
So aside from that little glimmer on the positive side, I was completely emotionally drained from that. To top it off, I had a horrific sleep last night, didn't have anything other than iced coffee this morning and never ate lunch. By this time it was like 3:30 pm. And of course, I had no appetite whatsoever when it was done.
All in all, Scarlett should be okay. There's no telling how long it will take her to fully recover and what kind of soundness issues we'll run into now. She's staying at the vet until at least next week so they can keep her on antibiotics and keep changing the pressure bandage.
In honor of the horrific injuries I've had to see over the last couple of months, I'm posting my last emergency when one of our horses impaled himself on a fence and took a chunk out of his shoulder. I took these pictures at the vet two days after I took him in--they put a drain in it and basically sewed together all of his muscles and tendons.
Here you have the fencepost which entered the horse's shoulder. Yes, those are chunks of flesh hanging off.

Our fence took a beating through that incident. Pepe wasn't exactly too excited about the repairs.

Whenever anything like this happens, I get filled with a huge overwhelming sense of guilt. I feel as though we ask so much of these horses and a lot of times put them in situations that make them prone to injury. I get very depressed by it all. I know that they are essentially "eggs on legs" and horses, when given the option, could hurt themselves in a padded room. There is just still this small feeling inside me that screams "This is wrong!"
I don't know. I guess just having been through the deaths of multiple horses over the last few years and seeing various injuries and illnesses, I feel as though they get hurt all the time no matter how careful we are. And through all that, having to rationalize them somehow as being "worthwhile" or "good for the horse" gets old.
I'm not going to find a conclusion. I'm tired.

I am blogged out. You'll just have to suffer through this.

50 Things You May Not Know About Me

1. What is your middle name? Truair. My great-great-grandmother's maiden name.
2. What color underwear are you wearing now? black
3. What are you listening to right now? A constant repeat stream of Nickelback's "Photograph," (whom I never liked before) Coldplay's "Fix You," and Ben Lee "No Room to Bleed."
4. What are the last 2 digits in your phone number? 98
5. What was the last thing you ate?Does a margarita count? Yeah. I'm an alcoholic. If not then (surprise, surprise) CheezIts.
6. If you were a crayon what color would you be? That elusive white one that serves no purpose by itself but changes everything else around it.
7. How is the weather right now? Fall-ish.
8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? One of my clients regarding purchasing her daughter's pony and a commission long time coming...
9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Their smile and the way they carry themselves.
10. Favorite type of Food? Hm...I'm a fajita fan.
11. Do you drink? Often.
12. Do you smoke?Never have, never will.
13. Ever get so drunk you don't remember what you did? No. Unfortunately I remember about 99% of what I do sooner or later. I think we choose what we forget.
14. Hair color? dark blonde
15. Eye color? green
16. Do you wear contacts?yes
17. Favorite Holiday? Thanksgiving.
18. Favorite Month? I'm a big fan of March-April-May in Texas. But October-November is good too.
19. Have you ever cried for no reason? I used cry all the time when I was younger. I don't cry much anymore unless I get really upset or angry.
20. What was the last movie you watched? Momento.
21. Favorite Day of the Year? January 21 has been repeatedly a good day for me. Just something I have started noticing and I don't know why.
22. Are u too shy to ask someone out? I've asked more guys out than I care to remember and in fact have stopped that practice due to multiple crappy dates.
23. If you can say something to someone right now what would it be? Yikes. I don't know if this means you could say something to someone dead or alive or whatever...but I would tell my 7th grade history teacher thank you. I would also probably say something to someone else but I would start crying so hard you wouldn't understand what I was saying anyway.
24. Hugs or Kisses? A hug from the right person can do me in.
25. Chocolate or Vanilla? vanilla
26. Do you want your friends to respond? This question is pointless.
29. What books are you reading? A Long Way Down, Nick Hornby
30. Piercings? I got one of my ears pierced when I was 5, screamed and threatened the piercing lady, and my dad got so emotionally disturbed by that he took me for ice cream and I never went back to get the one done. So I have one filled-in pierced ear. Hot I know.. 31. Favorite Movie? In this order: National Velvet, Scent of a Woman, A Few Good Men, Collateral and then various old-school Woody Allen.
32. Favorite baseball Team? I was weaned on Rangers games, but I did get into the Red Sox last year.
33.What were you doing before this? Talking to my roommate, then taking a shower.
34. Any pets? Chubby Charles aka C-Lo is the shiznit.
35. aim? rtruairf84
36. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? I don't like popcorn.
37. Dogs or cats? dogs.
38. Favorite Flower? iris
39.Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to? I'm sure I have.
40. Are you taken or single? single
41.Have you ever loved someone? Unfortunately yes. Strangely, the worst experiences of my life have surrounded love.
42. Who would you like to see right now? No comment.
43. Are you still friends with your exes? I wouldn't say friends. I will talk to most of them if I run into them somewhere but I don't keep in touch.
44. Have you ever fired a gun? Well, this is ironic. Speak of the devil. And no.
45. Do you like to travel by plane? As long as my dad isn't flying it, I am totally cool.
46. Right-handed or Left-handed?Left.
47. If you could be with someone right now, who would it be? What is up with this question...Let me put it this way. I really don't care who it would be as long as they loved me.
48. How many pillows do you sleep with? This is just going from bad to worse. I don't use a pillow but I have like 7.
49. Are you missing someone? Yes.
50. Do you sleep on your side, stomach, or back? I have been called a "face sleeper" and I think that accurately describes how I sleep.
51. Which celeb personality is most like yours? I have no idea.
52. What is your goal? My short term goal is to go to go to sleep prior to 1:00 AM tonight and actually fall asleep.

So I got home this afternoon and was so excited to see that there was a letter sitting in the main hallway. I'll sum it up for you.

October 11, 2005
Dear Residents:
We are pleased to announce Camden Property Trust assumed ownership/management of the Gaines Ranch Apartments on October 4, 2005. The community's new name is Camden Gaines Ranch.
::Insert filler regarding Camden's commitment to deliver outstanding customer service::
The new community manager is LaTonia Whiston. LaTonia has over 10 years of Camden experience and brings a wealth of knowledge to the community.
::Insert more filler::

Okay so I was super-psyched because...CANDY IS GONE!
Those of you who have been around me lately are aware that I have been butting heads with Candy the apartment manager for the past...oh, month or so. She called threatening to send my cat, Chubby Charles, to the humane society if I continued to leave her outside. The ridiculous part about this is that there are MILLIONS of cats around the outsides of the apartments, and why she chose to pick on me is beyond me. It probably was not a good idea on her part because I refused to take any shit from her over the phone. And the thing is, it's not like she wrote me a letter or something and asked me first. She called and left a voicemail demanding that I put my cat inside or else. It wasn't even like I got a warning. So I of course called her back and told her that the agent who leased the apartment to me told me it was okay to leave my cat out. And she got all bitchy on me and said "Well, she no longer works here so I cannot confirm that." And I told her "Well, I think that as a manager you need to make sure you get your staff on board with your bogus policy and that you should not call me and leave some threatening message on my cell phone in the future."
I had planned on writing a letter to Larry Peel, the developer/owner of Gaines Ranch telling him what a rude bitch she is. She treated me like crap and I can tell you that as a manager of essentially the same type of business, if I called one of my customers and was that rude, I would no longer have a job. But, I ran into this guy downstairs one evening who told me how sweet my cat was (I kept her on the patio for a couple of days and then decided to just roll the dice with Candy). I proceeded to talk his ear off about my unhappiness with the management and told him of my plans to write to Mr. Peel. He counseled me to hold off on the letter since his wife worked for Larry Peel (oops) and that he had intelligence that said the community had been sold and new management would likely come in. Due to Rita, the turnover had happened a week later than originally expected since Camden's offices are based out of Houston.
I was really hoping to get a letter like this and have to say that LaTonia has got to (hopefully) be better than Candy ever was. Of course, I could be disappointed.
Also, I'm a little concerned about Camden Gaines Ranch. It's not like that exactly rolls of the tongue, but I guess I'll get used to it.

Happy Birthday to Bleh aka The Shy Guy from Mr. TrojanFest aka Brett! We went to Lavaca St Bar tonight for his shuffleboard birthday party. I managed not to have any alcohol (and am so glad I didn't or else I am sure I'd feel like crap) and watched the first 6 innings of the LAA/SOX game. This is about the time of year when I start tuning into baseball. I would LOVE to see LAA & the Stros go head to head. Really of course I just want the Astros to get there BUT, if I could swing tix to see some of the World Series, that would be killer. Or at least would give me an excuse to go to LA and see Shiri and--of course--be in the town for the second year in a row where the World Series is going down.
That may not happen either way, though. I might be pushing my luck with my trip to NYC next week and November is going to be end of show season hell. I looked more closely at my calendar today and we have 4 weekends of shows lined up and one weekend for T-Giving. Are you kidding me? Who plans this stuff?!

Oh! And if you are going to be in or around the ATX Metro this Saturday night, ask me about BARDINES! Everyone is encouraged to attend.

So. What a weekend. Amy G has asked me to amend a few things in my blog from this past weekend, so we're going to back track a little here.

At the Cliff's party: We were immediately attacked by a shady character who claimed his name was Ray-Ray. That's right folks, I have now met someone in my adulthood who goes by Ray-Ray. Before I get all Jenny-from-the-block on you, I am going to remind you that we were at a party mainly occupied by people from El Paso.

How do I sum up this guy in a few sentences? I'll give it a shot. Ray-Ray had that tone of voice that made him seem like he could have been gay. But...he was just really drunk. Ray-Ray was wearing one of those skeezy gold chains around his neck that makes one wonder how you get to a point in life where that becomes okay. Ray-Ray proceeded to molest AmyGangsta' all night.

That about does it in terms of defining Ray-Ray's character.

So there we were. I am sitting in a lawn chair minding my own business. AmyGangsta' comes over saying she's cold, so now I have Amy laying next to me/on top of me. Apparently this turned us into a large magnet and Ray-Ray, some guy named Marc (think Lou Diamond Phillips crossed with a UTEP frat boy), and Matt Fucking Krebsbach were all drawn inexplicably toward us.

AT WHICH POINT: Ray-Ray begins rubbing our legs with his hands...um...excuse me, sir...AmyGangsta' and I are becoming increasingly uncomfortable while the whole time Matt Fucking Krebsbach is loudly reciting my life story in text messages. I am too weirded out by the fact that now AmyGangsta' is on the phone with her MOM of all people while Marc looks like he is nuzzling her (which apparently he was?) and she is trying to get him to go away.

We feel concerned at this point but all of the damn strawberry daquiris and mango margaritas are, natch, impairing my better judgement and I am paralyzed. I also have AmyGagnsta' sitting on my left hip bone so I can't really move anyway. I would like to go and initiate Option B on Matt Fucking Krebsbach's ass to get my phone back, but my arms are too short to even reach the damn phone and I can't move any closer to get the phone without having a run in with Ray-Ray and the 20 karat chain around his neck.

At the 12-year old's party: It also should be known that I proceeded to drag AmyGangsta' to a 12 year old girl's birthday party at Austin Park'n'Pizza (yes, I now know the spelling) which I will from here on out refer to as: Austin's Park'n'Hell.

Yes it was that bad. For starters: I just have a natural aversion to any type of video game arcade being that I was dragged against my will to those joints my entire childhood. When combined with a bunch of random go-cart rides and putt-putt golf, I find the scene even more atrocious.

The thing is. They are our biggest client. And the are nice people. So for the last 3 years now I have obligingly attended every single one of her birthday parties. I thought we were making headway when last year she had her party at a hotel--at least the venue was a little more bearable. But we took 8 huge Dance-Dance-Revolution steps back this year I have to say.

We stayed long enough to make a pleasant impression on the people there and then left. Not to mention I had to practically drive to the end of the Earth and back to get there. I hate going out to Pflugerville/Round Rock. It's all just so soul-sucking.

Last Night aka SIN Night: So last night was good. Mr.X and I went downtown and met up with Mr.X's sister and her friend who were visiting here from NYC (where I will be in less than 2 weeks thanks to Southwest Airlines!). I realized one giant looming thing in my life though that really I need to rein in a bit: I talk about my old roommate all. the. time. In fact, apparently I am not the only one who noticed how much we were attached at the hip. The bartender at the Blind Pig actually asked me "Hey where's your partner in crime?" Doesn't that say it all right there. I had to regretfully inform him that she alas had moved to the City of Angels and was living with Mr. Perfect. So there would be no more sobbing-on-each-other's-shoulders-while-Cousin-Joe-plays-U2-and-"Every Rose Has It's Thorn" going on. At least not until she comes back to visit me.

Today was another story. The recovery from the margaritas I had before I left, to the Irish Carbombs which I befriended once again after a bit of a separation for a while, to the many, many vodka-soda's purchased was a long one. I managed to be completely useless for the better part of today.

I think that I cleared some things up in this. Hopefully it meets the approval of the masses and accounts for most of my doings this weekend pretty accurately.

This is the story of the 21 hours of my life which occurred from 4:30 AM yesterday until 1:30 AM today.
4:30 AM -- Woke up. When I say "woke up," I actually mean I stumbled out of bed in utter denial of what was going on. It was that kind of morning. When my alarm went off in my ear after only 3 hours of sleep, my initial thought was "Who the hell put this box here that is making that noise? And why do we have boxes that make noises like that in the middle of the night?" I was completely confused and apparently still tired enough to not comprehend the invention that is "the alarm clock."
4:48 AM -- Departed The Ranch. When I say "The Ranch," I mean the ranch I live at, not the one I work at. We'll get to that in a minute. I was dressed for the crappy weather we had the day before but soon realized I had overestimated the way the Texas weather works (apparently living here for most of my 21 years hasn't taught me much). I was wearing: a polo shirt, a longsleeved shirt, a fleece, and my work jacket. Yeah.
5:17 AM -- Arrived at The Ranch. This is the other ranch, the one I'm paid to be at. I quickly tossed the horses onto the trailer, grabbed the Coggins book, and hauled out to Rio Vista Farm as fast as I could, which is just 2 lights after the Austin-Bergstrom International Airport.
6:21 AM -- Arrived at RVF. Unloaded the horses, placated my customer's needs, and proceeded to watch the show for the next 9 hours. Some of this time was occupied by:
--Dirty jokes. One of the trainers likes to spread dirty jokes around at horse shows to keep things exciting. It goes like this:
Q: "If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey bit off both my rooster's feet, what would you have?"
A: Two feet of my cock in your ass.
--A hot EMT sighting. Shows have to have EMTs on the grounds at all times, and sometimes they're good looking and sometimes they're skeezy and sometimes they're women. Yesterday was a good day for EMTs. There was one guy that was so handsome and I told Amy that I would have to take a shot at him at some point in the day (for the sole reason to keep things interesting). So I was walking by the ambulance and he had been sitting on the edge of it and he went to stand up and kind of just...fell out. And was like "Crap!" and started laughing a little bit because I totally saw it. So I stopped and said, "Hey, are you alright? Do I need to call an ambulance?" Ha! The joke was probably worth it to totally immasculinate him in the middle of the show.
--A medium pony doing the 3' Junior hunters. I won't elaborate on this because I don't think many of my readers are horse people but let's just put it this way: a very small creature being ran off it's feet to do the horse strides down the lines and then leaving from BFE to clear 3' jumps. First it was frightening and hilarious all at once and then it just became fascinating to watch. Broke up the mundane parts of the day.
--The dads who had TVs that we could watch the TX-OU game on. Also seeing that SDSU lost to UNLV by 3 and that Northwestern beat Wisconsin. Interesting also to find out that one of the dads who is from Nebraska is good friends with the head coach of Wisconsin. I told him they needed to work on their t-shirt quality.
3:38 PM -- Depart Rio Vista. Drove back to the barn, put the horses away and left as quickly as possible.
5:40 PM -- Arrived at The Ranch. I was glad to be home, albeit sunburned. I took a shower and awaited Amy's call because we had plans to go have dinner at the Hula Hut since it was SO pretty outside yesterday. Of course by the time we got done, it was dark so we changed our plans and went to Serrano's instead. Meanwhile, Carlos called me and told me that they were all still drinking and watching football at the Cliff's because his friend Alex aka "Digitz" who works for a morning show on the radio here in the ATX had rented out the party room and the pool. So we had dinner and then stopped over there, where Amy and I were only planning on being for a little while since we were so tired. I had some Hotel San Jose cyclist go through every one of the text messages in my inbox and then subsequently my outbox and then he proceeded to enter himself in my contacts as "Matt Fucking Krebsbach." Which of course, I'm not too happy about because anyone who knows me knows how anal I am about people in my phone.
1:00 AM -- Depart the Cliff's. We were now cold and tired, even though we put our feet in the hot tub forever. Carlos decided he wanted to leave too so we followed him back to The Ranch. Amy dropped me off, Carlos came and hung out for a while. Long enough to realize that he had left his cell phone at the party on silent so I couldn't even call it and summon anyone. He also couldn't remember anyone's phone numbers. Somehow through my drunken recall I realized that I had Matt's number in my phone at which point I handed my phone to Carlos and let him call Matt. It was funny beceause Matt I am sure totally thought he was getting a booty call and then it was just Carlos.
I then told Carlos that I was too tired to even be somewhat talkative so he went up the 20 stairs to his apartment and I went the 20 feet to my bed and crashed.
1:25 AM -- I get a text message from a certain **1LT** saying that he is out but all he can think about is a certain someone. I am too tired/drunk to respond.
1:30 AM -- 21 Hours of total randomnesss ends.

**revised 10/11/05

Okay, yesterday the title was "Cool", today was freaking freezing. I mean downright cold and miserable. I got to the barn this morning and realized rather quickly that I had a lot to do and didn't want to do any of it. We have a horse show tomorrow, a one-day, and I needed to get a bunch of stuff together for it.
The problem was that it was too damn cold to set foot outside the office. I spent the better half of the day working on some office stuff, talking about the day with Chuy and getting some things in order with customers.
Eventually I had to get over my wimpiness of the cold and forced myself to get on Merlot, this horse in our barn. She threw one of the little kids in Kelly's lesson on the ground last night so of course I was nominated to give her an attitude adjustment. She was being a little pill, that's for sure, even with me! I eventually rode her around long enough and kind of reminded her what she is supposed to do and not do and she got better. Aside from her kind of bossy personality, she actually is a really easy, simple horse. I told Kelly I was going to tune her up more often and make her my "practice horse." You know, to keep my eye going on something that more or less knows its job.
I clipped a couple of horses for the show and then got the heck out of there. I have to get up at 4:30 AM tomorrow to get to the barn by 5:00 so I figured I'd get plenty of work done tomorrow.
I came home and put on some pajama pants!! Ahhh...I actually enjoy the cold weather as long as I don't have to go outside. I like being kind of chilly in my house and sleeping under a bunch of blankets. Tomorrow morning is going to suck getting out of bed, but according the weather it is supposed to be a beautiful day. Bay is all PO'ed because she wanted to be able to watch the UT-OU game, which of course always falls on the same day as this horse show every year. So we're all going to have to find someone with a TV in their car and watch the game in bits and pieces during the show.
Martha's gone off to her boyfriend's for the night, I'm eating my dinner, and then I have big plans to watch a movie or something on TV. I haven't watched any TV in at least two weeks, so this should be fun. I also am going to make some persuasion of an Bailey's coffee drink and then drift off to sleep for 5 or so hours.

Today was really weird. First of all, any day that it starts off hotter and ends up cooler in Texas gets labeled weird just because. I know they've been prepping us for this all week, but when I got to the barn I was actually really surprised at how cool it was becoming by the minute! Fortunately, for once, I had actually dressed accordingly and wasn't freezing my ass off like I usually am.
Kelly had called me the night before asking if Bay and I wanted to go have a rare lunch with her today but I never called her back because I went with Amy to this church group thing. Yeah, I know, that's what it's coming down to. Church groups and double blind dates.
So anyway, I was kind of planning on going to lunch and in the meantime of the morning, I had to occupy myself somehow and spent the morning on a one of my cleaning rampages where Chuy stands around going "Ah, Raquel..." the whole time. I have to say I actually made somewhat of a dent in terms of tidying up the squalor of the office. As in I knocked off about a quarter-inch of dust from the top of the desk.
I discovered also that the MICE are back in the office. Our one remaining cat, Major, is currently infirm at one of our customer's houses and on heavy daily dosings of antibiotics (that I'm really hoping we don't have to pay for). I think Major has now cost us about $500-$800 in vet bills. Kind of a lot for a "free" cat. I never thought he did much anyway other than sleep and meow for food but apparently his presence alone kept the mice at bay because they have moved back into our desk drawers. Not as though anyone ever even attempts to use them other than me, but I mean, ICK. Every time I open a drawer now I am convinced (PTSD I think) that a mouse is going to leap out at me and give me some gnarly disease and/or cause me to have a heart attack.
So as I cleaned I pondered the age old question once again: Snap trap, glue trap or poison. I'm not a big fan of ANY option...the snap thing just seems evil and is just gross and depressing, whereas the glue trap seems like a very cruel way to kill an animal. The poison option is probably what I most prefer but is less satisfying (i.e. no dead mouse bodies) and is also more dangerous for our other creatures (i.e. dogs, cats, small children) around the barn.
Then Kelly showed up at noon, and I'm wondering about lunch and she informs me that there are too many to ride and we can't go. I'm like HUH? First of all, there were only like 6 horses to ride, all but a couple were hacks, and it's not like we don't have 3 people riding. So I convinced her that I would ride a couple, she could ride a couple before lunch, and Bay could ride one. Then we could -- get this -- ride when we got back from lunch. She always likes to try to get everything done before lunch, which lunch of course for her is either like 4:30 pm or just never happens.
We ended up going to lunch and then I was kind of sad. All I could think about was the fact that the last time we had all gone out to lunch together, I was so excited because DJS had just got back from Katrina and I talked to him on the phone for the first half of our time at the restaurant. They finally came out and got me and I went back inside to order my food and eat and I was just thrilled as could be. Bay asked me why I was shaking and I had no response. Kelly looked so happy and told me she was glad I had finally found someone to be excited about again. She knows what I've gone through over the last 5 years and I know she's just waiting for that day when everything will get better for me. I guess she thought it had and...honestly, so had I.

I digress.
We had a somewhat somber meal which consisted of us realizing that we kept complaining about work. Kelly said "I thought the whole point of going out to lunch was to have fun? We should have just stayed at the barn." I then said "I'd rather be sour and unhappy about my life here than at the barn." Which is true. I'm pretty burned out as of late. Even though everything is going absolutely as well as could be expected! Which of course is typical. I can never get all my ducks in a row.
I told them how I had set Amy up with a certain 2nd Lt who, in a twist of fate (or irony?), was coming down to ATX to take her on a date tonight. I hope it goes well...I told her he would be a good, decent guy to her and I am really hoping I can count on him to pull through. On our double blind date (in which we beat the 1:100394839 odds and everyone actually got along and enjoyed one another's company) on Monday, I could tell there was something there. So I hope that things go well for Amy. She deserves it.
By the time we got back from lunch it was COLD! I mean, I had to roll the sleeves down on my shirt I was wearing and was glad I had a tank top underneath. It was Meg B's 12th birthday (I feel old) and so the Three B's invited me at the end of the day to go to dinner with them to celebrate. We went to Ciola's this Italian place that I associate with winter and the barn and I got trashed AGAIN with the Bif's. I always forget that they order much more expensive wine than I am used to drinking and before I know it, I am completely loopy. It was good wine though. Not bad.
I hear my phone ringing--Shiri! I'm going to take that and then head to bed. I being the hot sleeper that I am opened up my windows and am going to lay in the cool fall air, think about NYC in 2 weeks, try not to notice that it's 9:00 and think about free minutes on my cell phone, and hopefully fall asleep.

Someone sent this to me and I feel as though everyone needs to read this since we are all covering the rules of the game again.

Dear Girls (from us guys)...
Don't assume that guys won't care where you are, because we do.
It makes us feel secure to know that our girlfriends aren't off flirting with guys we've never heard of.
Also, don't talk about your ex-boyfriends.
We never have, nor ever will respect or like them, nor do we want to hear about them.
When you do, you're asking your boyfriend to be jealous.
You're asking your boyfriend to lose trust.
On that, don't hump everything that walks into the room.
We don't care if you talk to other guys.
We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.
It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.
Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/ cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it.
Don't tell us we're wrong.
We'll stop trying to convince you.
The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
Yeah, you can quote me.
Don't be mad when we hold the door open.
Smile and say "thank you."
Let us pay for you.
Don't "feel bad."
We enjoy doing it.
It's expected.
Smile and say - everybody together now - "thank you."
Kiss us when no one's watching.
If you kiss us when you know nobody's looking we'll be more impressed.
You don't have to get dressed up for us.
If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have, put on every kind of makeup you own.
We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you are.
Don't flirt with guys when we're not around.
We'll find out. Trust us.
We have eyes everywhere.
And when we find out, we're pissed.
Not necessarily with the guys you flirted with, more-so with you.
Don't take everything we say seriously.Sarcasm is a beautiful thing.
See the beauty in it.
Don't get angry easily.
Stop using magazines/media as your bible.
Don't talk about how hot Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt is in front of us.
It's boring, and we don't care.
You have girlfriends for that.
Whatever happened to the word "handsome"?
Why does everything have to be "hot/sexy"?
I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with "Hey handsome!" instead of "Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy" or whatever else you can think of.
Claiming girls or guys to be "hot" shows immaturity.
Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, don't wait for him to change.
Ditch his sorry, disgrace-to-the-male-population ass, and find someone who will treat you with utter respect.
Someone who will honor your morals.
Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.

With A Ten-Foot Pole

The sky is white and nerveless and involves
Standing off at a ludicrous distance, thinking
Bad thoughts--well, not bad really, rather say
Homeless, images of a time and place
Long since scattered to dust--but still, what power!
My dearest wish--but one shouldn't have wishes,
Wishes are horses that kick you in the heart,
Then ask you if you'd like another ride.
I rode one once, or let's say she rode me--
But you don't want to hear that story again.
I know I don't. Maybe you'd like to hear
About a time and place that kept their distance.
The sky was white and nerveless...leave it at that.

--Robert Mezey, from The New Yorker magazine

I have read this over and over trying to understand why it caught my eye and then proceeded to cut right to the core of what I have been feeling lately.
I'll let you know when I figure it out.
Lately I have felt like I am standing back from my life looking at it incredulously wondering what has happened and where I might have gone wrong. Maybe this is the infamous quarter-life crisis.
Work is now easy and no longer the challenge that it used to be just to try to make a name for myself and have people know me. I feel as though everyone I need to know, I know, and I recognize the futileness of the whole pursuit it was anyway.
I'm no longer anxious about my job...more just complacent and wondering why there still is so much missing there. Something that used to make me completely happy and content no longer has that ability, and I haven't found what it is in my work that I need to focus on to find that fulfillment.
"Wishes are horses that kick you in the heart..." completely sums up how I feel about everything that has come to a head in my world as of late. That no matter what I desire or how much I try to focus on my wishes, I just end up being hurt and feeling abandoned.
And this poem, I think, reminds me of the person I used to be. Which is probably why it caught my eye. There was a time when I was a distant, self-serving human being. I was constantly only after my job and everything else came second or third or...not at all. I had no desire to get close to anyone or open up about anything.
Maybe that's where I need to go again. I certainly was in a lot better emotional state back then. Back when I wouldn't touch love with a ten-foot pole.

So last night was the BNO as they say in the restaurant biz, or Big Night Out for those of you who haven't lived with a waitress. There is no better way to forget why the last two weeks of your life sucked so much than to go out and get completely plastered at the expense of thirty-something men.
I have a new theory on going downtown. You go down there with the expectation not to pay for a single drink. That requires two steps: first, you have to find an accomplice to go with you so you don't just stand looking around soberly by yourself. The second thing you have to do is not take any money with you. That way, the temptation to just go ahead and buy yourself a drink isn't even an option.
See the thing is, I am so sick of spending $30 a night at least to pay to get drunk in a public place and interact with a bunch of skeezy men. I mean, that's expensive entertainment and why by the cow when you can get the milk for free?
I had only tried my theory once since I formulated it a while ago and that was on 6th Street. I don't exactly remember the timeline of my life and when it happened, but I think it was just before Shiri moved out and I had gotten kind of burned out of the bar scene. So I thought I could just have a challenge and maybe that would make things more exciting. We ended up thrust into a bachelor party and had drinks in both hands the rest of the night.
Now that we are trying to avoid 6th Street, though, things could get trickier. The bars on 5th and 4th are a little more upscale, pricier, and have less-drunk people in them. Less drunk=less likely to shell out $8 on a mojito.
Nevertheless...it can be done! We found that one out last night. It was a comedy of errors. Me, demanding for the first 30 minutes we were in Lucky Lounge, that Martha not go and buy a drink for us, and Martha not too happy with me for not letting her drink. At last two vodka tonics appeared and then it was smooth-sailing from there. We realized only later in the night (much later) how much it would have cost us to drink like we did last night. At least $60 a piece, I'm thinking.
The highlight of the night was probably the fact that we also didn't have to take a cab home. I had arranged with Carlos our upstairs neighbor to take us home if he was going to be downtown. Sure enough, Carlos pulled through like a champ and tracked our asses down. Then we came back and the after party raged on with Carlos and his two friends. One of his friends is a cop and knew Jamie, which was kind of funny/awkward/random. We figured since we had a cop with us, we'd go down to the swimming pool at 3:45 AM even though the pool technically closes at 10 PM. That's where we then saw that someone had tried to drive through the exit gate in our complex and the gate was not only bent in half in the middle but also leaning sideways; it totally didn't work.
We waded around at the pool for a while before heading back and crashing at 4:30 AM.
This morning (or afternoon, I guess) I took Martha back to her car where we were glad to see that it hadn't been stolen. I am now headed off to do my favorite Sunday afternoon tradition, The Nap.